Journey from Poltava

Yes, Valeria, There is a Santa Clause

2008-12-17T12:20:00.000-05:00

L's friend at school told her that Santa isn't real- and for over a week or so, she's been asking me whether it's true. I've been telling her that she has to "believe to receive" and all other ways to get her to believe in Santa.

We went to see Santa last night and I've gotta say that I think we might have just convinced L (for at least 1 more year) that Santa IS real after all. I was able to sneak a note to Santa through the lady taking picture orders- the note said:
1. NO Nintendo DS
2. You ARE real
3. L's friend's name is Brianna
4. T's friend's name is Andrew.

So... the short version of the story is that L told Santa that her friend said he wasn't real. And without missing a beat he said, "Oh, so is that what Brianna's saying these days?" You should have seen L's face!!! AMAZING. She couldn't believe it. She said, "HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT!?" Then T felt his beard and looked at me and loudly whispered, "Yep, he's the real deal mom!"

Hahahha- phew! I loved it. The kids were so hyper after they were done... and of course, L then said that she never doubted for even a second whether Santa was real or not- she knew the truth the whole time (the truth of course, being that Santa IS real.) OMG!

Things always go awry...

2008-10-01T20:14:00.004-04:00

Recently Ken had to go to Texas for a quick one-night trip for work. Things seem to go awry whenever he travels. For example, this was my morning.
Woke up at 5:00am, walked the dogs, fed the dogs, got ready for work, did the typical morning routine with getting the kids ready for school. What do you know, we were ready a few minutes early so I stopped at Starbucks- WHOHOO!!! While I'm waiting for my drink, I realized I forgot to give T his medicine. On the way back to the house, T and I got into a discussion on how to swallow his pill. (He puts it down his throat with his fingers.) I told him that if he does it that way, he would gag himself. He insisted I was wrong...

SO- back to the house we go. I run in the house, find my dog in the middle of tearing apart the trash while the puppy is sleeping on the couch. After cleaning up the mess, I take T's pill and a juice box to him. I no sooner walk around to the front of the car to get in, then look back to see T, eyes wide open, gagging. He manages to somehow say "Throw-up!" I tell him to open the door, and then I run back around the car... T gets the door open and proceeds to throw up.... Twice. Luckily he opened the door fast enough and well, you get the picture. (And reason #1483 that I'm not up for "Mom of the Year"? I couldn't pass on an opportunity to squeeze out an empathetic 'told you so'. But at least I waited until after a few hugs and cleaning things up.)

Now here's the craziest thing of all: Given everything I mentioned, I still managed to get the kids where they needed to be- on time- and get myself to work- on time! WOOOOOO!!!!!

And that's just 1 example of the craziness we experienced while Ken was away! :)

Transitions

2008-09-13T22:21:00.003-04:00

I started working full-time again- I've been part-time since adopting the kids 2 years ago. I had some anxieties about it, to say the least. I was so worried that festering adoption-related issues would bear their head and the guilt would make me re-evaluate my decision about work. The first week of school was a bit rough- at home, at least. The kids have a totally different morning routine since I am no longer the one waking them up and getting them going and off to school. Ken is now doing that. The afternoons are also completely different since they are picked up by a woman who does home-day care. (Who is WONDERFUL with L & T, thank God!) Three nights a week are pretty hectic because of T's football practice (and therefore, lack of family dinners). So, with all that, the 1st week of back to school was filled with new, difficult transitions for the kids. (And ok, difficult for Ken and me, too.) However, we got through the 2nd week much more smoothly!! I want to say that there was only 1 meltdown in the morning, and one in the evening. (That doesn't include my own meltdowns, which we won't discuss right now! :)

My new job is going really well and the guilt of working full-time is ever-so-slowly subsiding. The kids are not at the school that I teach at- at least, not this year. L loves her teacher (apparently she's very sweet- quite the opposite of last year's teacher!) T hasn't complained about his teacher- I'm remaining optimistic. After all, I'm still thankful that he wasn't put with the teacher that L had for 2nd grade!

For those of you who have been asking for football updates, T is doing well- playing defense. He's gaining confidence on the field, even with his short stature, and it's also giving him a great outlet for being rough and tough while learning a thing or two. He hasn't quite mastered the rules of the game, but we're not concerned. Like the commissioner of the organization said, "No one is going to get drafted from the "ankle-biter" division, so let's just have fun while learning good sportsmanship." Sounds good to me! If you are interested in the latest pics, email me... he's got a game tomorrow night.

It's Not the Size of the Dog in the Fight...

2008-08-10T16:13:00.003-04:00

This summer has been full of... well, let's just say "full"! The kids did camp, L fell in love with her counselor... T has a taste for sushi, as he 'cramps it' all the time. (He means "craves it".) They've both done gymnastics and if you've been around the kids at all, you'd be able to tell because L is constantly doing cartwheels!

T is now in football. They practice 2 hours a day until school is in session- and then they'll practice 2 or 3 times per week plus games on weekends "despite what the Redskins schedule is". I take T to practice each day and on that first day I laughed SOOO hard that I cried. At least twice. (OK, to be completely honest, I almost peed myself but I didn't really admit to that, did I?) And as some spectators said about T without realizing I was his mom, "Look at that little dude! All the other kids are going to underestimate him b/c he's the shortest out there, but they don't realize it's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."

I've got some great mpeg clips of the practice so if you'd care to see one, send me an email and I'll send you a link (provided I know you!)

Summer Funnies

2008-07-02T20:34:00.002-04:00

If only I knew how to draw cartoons to give you good visuals to go with these summer funnies!

This first 'funny' should be titled, "Baywatch".

While at the beach this past weekend, L took notice of the lifeguard. After noticing him, she told me, "Do you see that lifeguard, mom? He's CUTE! I want to marry him!" (And between you and me, L has good taste! LOL) Apparently, she's 8 going on 18.

Later, she saw him run into the waves while she was in the water with Ken. What she said to Ken went something like this:

L: Oh My Gosh! (while staring at the lifeguard)

K: What!?

L: Daddy, I'm going to go under the water and pretend I'm drowning.

K: (puzzled) Why?

L: So that cute lifeguard can come over and rescue me. I'm going to marry him, ya know.

Next funny is titled, "Falling Down"

We were in the hotel watching some sort of blooper/ candid camera- type show. The one clip was about demolition workers who were trying to blow-up a building. They pushed the button, you see smoke, the building falls a few levels and tilts, then stops. No demolition. Suddenly T, with all his infinite wisdom says, "Woh! Good thing that building didn't fall down!"

Mothers Day and Beyond

2008-05-18T19:40:00.005-04:00

Mother's Day

Last week's Mother's Day was fairly uneventful, which is a good thing. I even got to take a nap! Ken bought me a GPS system- a surprise to say the least. And I desperately needed one! I get lost the 1st and 2nd time I go ANYWHERE. Just ask my friend Mel- between the two of us in Italy and Greece, it would take us 20 minutes to walk to a place that we'd later realize was just around the corner.

L & T's newest joke:

Q: What color is a burp?

A: Burple

Happy Teacher Appreciation Week, as a gift for you, we put our child on Ritalin. ;)

Yes, as much as I joke about it, we're serious. T was diagnosed with ADHD. Not a surprise to me... Ken had a much harder time accepting it (and still does.) We disagreed on treatment and went the non-medicine route for a short-while. Ironically, during Teacher Appreciation Week, we started the medicine and I emailed the teacher saying, "In honor of Teacher Appreciation Week, we started T on Ritalin."

(... and if you are wondering, it's the lowest possible dose and helping T tremendously.)

Plans for the Summer

My parents invited L & T to stay with them for a couple of days- without Ken and me. Most parents would probably jump for joy... I am a bit nervous for a couple of reasons (nothing to do with trusting my parents with the kids. They're amazing.) I start to think, what the hell am I going to do with myself without the kids around??? L & T love the idea of going to Nana and Poppy's. When L tells people about it, she says, "Well Mommy left ME for 6 days, so now I'm going to show HER how it feels." (Referencing my Italy trip.)

Where did you learn THAT!?

Just today the kids were practicing using their Heelies and we stopped and chatted with our neighbors, "Mr. Nick and Ms. Mel". T was doing fairly well but goofing off nonetheless and L fell because she put her toes down and tripped herself. She skinned her knee and after getting some sympathy she sat down on the step, whimpering and trying to conjure up some tears. T apparently heard enough whining from L and wanted her to move so he could keep practicing. So he says, "Alright, let's cut the crap. Time to Heely!"

I wanted to laugh, yell, hide, play deaf, and congratulate him for proper grammar usage all within .5 seconds. Nick had to turn around and walk away so T didn't see him laughing so hard. (Reason #342 why Ritalin SHOULD NOT be skipped on weekends: once the thought enters the head, there's no filter to prevent it from coming out the lips.)

Martian Child

2008-04-19T00:34:00.004-04:00

Have you heard of the movie, Martian Child with John Cusack? It's about a single man who adopts a child (about 8 yrs. old) from the Foster Care system and the boy thinks and acts like he's from Mars. I just finished watching the movie and I CRIED!!! What a great movie! One of the parts that really "hit home" with me was that John Cusack's character (Dan) teaches Dennis (the adopted son) about baseball. He explains that the great thing about it is that you could go up to bat and strike out 7 out of 10 times but still be great. And then if you did even a little bit better, you'd be a superstar! Several parts of the movie really hit home with me. I don't think it's necessarily meant to be a real tear-jerker but several parts struck me in a way that might actually help me have a better perspective on what's 'acceptable' or the big deal about being different.

As for my book reviews... I gave up on Love and Logic- doesn't work for us so I don't recommend it. Not for active kids who constantly test the limits. The 1-2-3 Magic! is great. Ken has to read the book now and we need to 'get on the same page' with using the strategies in the book. It's a great book if your kids have ADHD, which as we officially found out this week, is what T has been diagnosed with. I'm sure L is soon to follow; I just need to find (more) time to take off from work to make the follow-up appointment.

My ear hurts!

2008-03-07T14:31:00.003-05:00

This begins a few weeks ago, when L complained of having an ear ache. I had given her some Children's Motrin to relieve it, but by the Friday of that week, the pain persisted. Friday night Ken and I discussed taking her to the doctor Saturday morning and calling to make the appointment 'first thing.' He got up first, as did the kids, and I got to sleep in for another hour or so! When I got up, I asked him if he called the doctor. His response "Uh, no. I don't have the number." Sigh. So I called but it was too late and they didn't have any appointments. I tried to get L into my doctor, too but they wouldn't see her since she wasn't already their patient. Ken took her to Urgent Care as there weren't any other options. As it turns out, she had string in her ear! Yes, string. How did it get there? Don't ask me! L claims to have no idea. So I took her to a follow-up appointment on Monday with her pediatrician and they started her on anti-biotics because her ear was quite infected. (My question: Why didn't the urgent care start anti-biotics!? It was infected at that point, too!? But I digress...)

SO today, I get a call from the school clinic that T's got an ear ache. He doesn't have a fever but claims that his ear hurts pretty badly. I leave work early to pick him up and try to figure out how to get him to the doctor so we don't delay like what happened with poor L. I ask T if he stuck anything in his ear- and then his guilty, giggling smile spreads across his face and he looks away. During the drive home, he slips up and tells me his ear is fine, it only hurts if you pull on it. When I confronted him, he said, "OH NO , IT HURTS, MOMMY! ALL THE TIME!" So I have no clue what to believe.

So we're home now, and I'm letting T watch TV. As soon as I put the TV on, ESPN is on- as that's what Ken watches each morning. I didn't even pay attention to what commercial is on- or that it even was a commercial as I saw someone riding a bike and didn't think anything of it. Then T says, "Mommy, they said 'SEX' on TV!" I think to myself, what the !?!?!?! and listen to the commercial- it's a commercial for Viagara!! T says, "Why do they need to know if you have heart problems to have sex?!" I quickly muted the TV and found a show to put on. When T asked me about it again, I shrugged it off and said, "No, that's not what they said, T! I think you must have mis-heard the commercial, especially with having something stuck in your ear!"

And that was the end of that.
(Follow up: It's Sunday and T hasn't complained about his ear since Friday when he got home from school. I had been fooled!!)

It's been a while, eh?!

2008-02-09T20:08:00.000-05:00

I haven't been updating the blog nearly as frequently as I'd like... life and parenting is pretty time-consuming, who knew!? The holidays have come and gone and so I won't spend much time talking about that.

The kids' birthdays just passed... this year we decided to have their party together! I had hoped that this would make it easier for my family so they wouldn't have to drive down to our part of town twice in 2 weeks. Well, forget that- they couldn't make it! That stunk and the kids missed them but the party was a blast nonetheless. It was at a skating rink that also had video games, moonbounce, and laser tag. What more could 7 and 8 year- olds ask for?

A couple quick funny things of late: recent questions about "kissing like ice cream" or "the ice cream kiss"... and L asking, and subsequently forgetting and mis-calling the word "vagina" into something that sounds like a Transformer (Vector Prime).

And in my next blog (whenver that will be!) I'll give you a book review for the book 1-2-3- Magic! I've been trying out some Love and Logic stuff but I don't buy into some of that philosophy. A number of people have recommended this book and I'll let you know how it works. If nothing else, I'll sell the books to the highest bidder! LOL

Bad Words

2007-12-15T22:54:00.000-05:00

Written by Ken...

Bad Words

The other day I was cooking dinner (a miracle!). After cutting my thumb with a sharp knife Iyelled a loud expletive that rhymes with truck. I felt bad that Lira might have heard me so I asked her after dinner if she did and she said ‘no’.

Being curious, I asked Lira if she actually knew any bad words. Lira got really shy but said, "yes" and I said ‘ it’s ok, you’re not in trouble, I just want to know what you’ve learned at school.’

Lira said ‘I didn’t get them from school daddy, I learned them from you.’

So, blushing, I asked Lira what she knew. She said, "crap, darmid" (Lira’s way to say ‘darnit”) and then she paused and thought for a minute and said, “Well the third word I got from mommy ...because I've heard her calling you a jerk.”

Kids!

Happy Thanksgiving

2007-11-25T11:15:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving was spent in PA at my parent's house with 16 of us having dinner. L&T love being with their nana and poppy and they played with their cousins who are about the same age. The day was filled with its fair share of tattling and typical kid stuff, and that's just me and my sister! LOL! Just kidding. The kids were a bit wound up b/c they're out of their element. While we were up there, our mini-van broke down but luckily it was covered under the warranty and thanks to Ken and my dad, it was taken care of in time for us to get home and pick Dori from the kennel. We brought Ferris with us and that went a lot more smoothly than any of us thought it would.

Now that we're back, I had the kids write out their wish lists for Santa. OH MY GOD. L's list: a laptop, a cell phone, a flat-screen TV (though I don't think she even knows what it is), a car, two magic wands, and some barbie dolls. T's response to her was pretty funny: "You forgot to be kidding me!" (instead of you've got to be kidding me.) When the kids go to see Santa this year, I sure hope he is well-versed in nice ways of saying "NO" to these kinds of lists. I asked her what happened to the Bratz dolls she wanted and she just said, "um, no."

T made his wish list, too and copied some toys down from circulars- and he doesn't even know what some of these toys are (and neither do I.) For the most part his list is quite a bit more reasonable!!!

Trick or Treat! And who might YOU be...?!

2007-11-09T15:41:00.001-05:00

Halloween was a huge success if you ask L & T. They got tons of candy and had so much fun trick or treating. And we wouldn't be 'us' if we didn't have some funny L & T'isms from the night. Here are a few:
L & T: Trick or Treat!
Woman: How cute! And who might YOU be?
T: (Instead of saying, "a storm trooper" he says): My name is T!

L & T: Trick or Treat!
Woman: You guys can each have 3! (as she holds a big bowl of candy.)
Mommy and Daddy: Wow, guys, what do you say?
L & T: Oh yeah! (we were hopping for a "thank you")

And after they came from a different house with some candy, Lira shouts at the man, "Thank you!" and then walks 10 feet and says less than quietly, "Their house is a mess!"

(And to those who have emailed recently with interest in Ferris, thank you! He's adjusting great and the kids are loving it!)

The latest addition to our family

2007-10-28T17:45:00.001-04:00

And heeeeeerrrrrre'ssss FERRIS! Yep, us crazy people got a pup from a rescue this weekend. He's gotta be the coolest pup in the world. (I'm biased, I know.) The kids love him, Ken loves him , I love him, and Dori loves, no, maybe just likes him. Here's a pic for now... I'll try to write more again soon.

Electrongic Database for Orphans in Ukraine

2007-10-09T06:49:00.000-04:00

I just read about this on an Adoptions from Ukraine List. This is a HUGE step in the right direction. Welcome to the 21st century, Ukraine!
>>>
Electronic Database for Orphans Launched 08.10.2007 20:03
translated by Anna Ivanchenko

In Lviv region a unified electronic database on orphans, children deprived of parental care and children from crisis families was created. The all-Ukrainian database should facilitate the adoption procedure, reports Deutsche Welle. Almost five thousand children have already been entered in the electronic register; they are residents of Lviv and Lviv region. Half of them require care and adoption. The database consists of pictures with full information on children, says the head of regional children's issues service Volodymyr Lys. According to him, it will greatly facilitate and accelerate the adoption procedure which may last up to one year. It is really paramount, we'll count the children and remove double registrations," assures Mr. Lys. The access to informational bank is strictly limited and controlled by Security Service of Ukraine. Mr. Lys says that there also exists a database of Ukrainian families in line for adopting a child. There are about 50 such families in Lviv region.

Source: Ukrayinska Pravda

Bacon

2007-10-02T17:14:00.000-04:00

L has been slow to bond with Ken, as most of you already know. She's definitely come a long way, but she does show "favorites" and likes to egg-Ken-on with the "I love MOMMY!" routine. (This is where she goes overboard with showing me love and affection and outright ignores Ken.)

Well the comment I made at the end of the last post refered to one evening at dinner... Lira was doing her overt acting out of loving mommy SOOOOOooooo much- where no matter what Ken said, Mommy can do NO wrong. So Ken said to the kids, "What about Daddy? I'm the one who brings home the bacon!?" To which the kids replied, "Who cares!? We don't even like bacon."

And while there are SO many things I could say in response to the comments made by ALL 3 of them, I'll leave it at that.

Back to School

2007-09-18T23:07:00.000-04:00

Summer is over and we're in the swing of our new routine. T is liking school so far but L is finding the lack of "fun" not so...well, fun! She's a grade older so the expectations have increased and L wants to keep being a social butterfly! But from what I can tell, she's doing really well. Her reading continues to grow and she amazes me. Ken is T's soccer coach, which is great. I'm the "team mom" for L's soccer team.

I've been sick for the past few days with strep and it's been the pits! L has been very caring and has done a number of chores above and beyond just because I'm sick. T has been good, don't get me wrong! I had a cute story to write about tonight, but of course, thanks to all this medicine and sleepiness, I'm a zombie right now.

And reason #1343 that I'm NOT going to be mother-of-the-year? I let the kids watch Harry Potter (the 1st one.) I don't remember it being scary and T's been really interested in it lately. Well, bad move, we only watched about an hour of it and T can't stop thinking about the "bad wizard". I'm not going to have him finish the movie but I think the next few weeks before bed are going to be damage control; convincing T that the "bad wizard" doesn't exist so there's no need to worry that he's going to come to our door.

And if I don't post again soon, email me or comment to remind me to post about the "bringing home the bacon" comment. It was so funny- but heck if I can remember it right now! I have to ask Ken...

Don't worry mom, you're not old!

2007-08-17T21:01:00.000-04:00

"Don't worry, mom! You're not old! You're... new!" This was T's comment when we were talking about age since I'll be turning another year older next week. Another classic was today while we were in the cell phone store. T & L were asking the salesman why he was the only one there and where was his boss? I jokingly said, '...probably out playing golf!' to which the guy laughed and said I was right. T pondered this and said, "Wait a minute... you have to stay here and work and your BOSS is out playing GOLF? THAT'S NOT FAIR!" We all got a good chuckle at his comment and how serious he was when he said it.

Well, there's not much exciting to tell you all about. It's the lazy days of summer now. We go swimming a lot and each day I try to find new things to do with the kids and I'm running out of ideas. L watches High School Musical on TiVO and has been counting down until tonight for High School Musical 2. (Sad to say that even I can sing with the song, "Wildcats, in the house..." and, "...the start of something n-ew!" (First the mini-van, now this..!)

Watch out, Luke Skywalker, L is in love with TROY!

PS- We're still looking for a new home for our cats... anyone interested?

Summer HW, my boyfriend, and my big butt

2007-07-12T09:39:00.000-04:00

L & T are doing great and we've had a busy summer so far. I try to do homework with them every day; at first it was difficult to get the kids to do, especially T. BUT... he suddenly became a collector of trading cards! So, I now reward them with a trading card for each night they do a little bit of math and reading. It has worked A LOT better than I even expected. They come to me asking to PLEASE DO HOMEWORK NOW, MOMMY! Wow. How long will this last? Nevermind, I'm not going to question it- I love it! The rest of our summer is pretty much spent at the swimming pool which again, I'm not going to complain about. Ken has quite a bit of traveling to do for work this summer but I've noticed that by taking the kids to the pool for a few hours every day, they're exhausted by dinner time so it's not so bad!

L is in love with Luke Skywalker since watching the Star Wars movies and T keeps trying to shoot electricity out of his fingertips like the Emperor. Oh... and I have a boyfriend. :) L said that since her boyfriend is Luke Skywalker, I need to have a boyfriend, too. (Daddy doesn't count, she said!) So while it was a toss-up between Han Solo and Captain Jack Sparrow, I went with the pirate.

Oh, and my DEAR SWEET SON has quite the sense of humor. Ken and I were talking with our friends Mel and Nick about programming cell phones with ring tones for different people who call. Ken said, "Hmmm... I wonder what song I should program for when Jeanine calls!?" and Timmy, without missing a beat says, "Mommy's Got a Big Ol' Butt!"

Sigh.

Finding a new home for our cats...

2007-06-22T18:00:00.000-04:00

Well despite EVERYTHING we've tried over the past year, we have come to the conclusion that we need to find a new home for our two cats. They have not adjusted well to Lira and Timmy. Besides hiding when the kids are home, they urinate on the kids' toys. (Great selling point for finding a new home for them, wouldn't you say!?) It's a heartbreaking decision for me since I've had the cats longer than I've known Ken! I think they would be so much happier in a home where they wouldn't be chased by the kids or locked in a room they don't want to be in. (L&T have shut the cats in the same room that they were in and then chased the cats around the room trying to pick them up. The cats were SO scared!) So... if you or someone you know could provide a good home for Apache and Tobey, please let me know. I don't want to separate the cats as they've been together since they were kittens. They'd do best in a home with no other pets and no children but would probably be just fine in a home that has OLDER children. I will try to post pictures of them in case anyone is interested in seeing them. In the meantime, if you are interested, post a comment with your email address and I'll email you more info and some pictures. :(

Just another day

2007-06-06T13:08:00.000-04:00

I'm home from work today; I've been home since Monday afternoon. Timmy's been sick with a fever, etc., and after his doctor's visit yesterday he started antibiotics for tonsilitis. He is definitely feeling better this afternoon compared to 48 hours ago! Lira's jealous that Timmy's been getting extra attention and so she's been doing what she can to get her fair share! It makes for a crazy few days!

The school year is coming to an end. It's so hard to believe that the kids have grown as much as they have! I finally came to terms with my two loving children being 5 and 6 years old, then they had to go and turn 6 and 7! Now they are finishing up school and as of September, we'll have a 1st and 2nd grader!?!?! Say it ain't so! But we are very proud of them and are amazed at how far they have come. Lira tested out of the reading recovery program and is on grade level in reading. Timmy's phonics has come a looooong way. Timmy will receive ESOL services next year and I'm just waiting to hear from the school about Lira. She should definitely get services, but I don't know if I'll have to "push" for them or not. We'll see how that goes.

Before and After

2007-05-28T19:46:00.000-04:00

April 30th marked our 1 year anniversary of being home in AMERICA as a family! We celebrated by going out to dinner and enjoyed great stories about our visits with the kids in the orphanage. The kids loved hearing stories about the silly things that they would do during the visits and we enjoyed hearing their perspective of the entire situation one year ago. I'm sending this out to our loved ones who supported us during our journey to, in, and home from Ukraine. What a road it has been. Over the past year, we've celebrated LOTS of "firsts" with the children. Now we look forward to making and celebrating our own traditions. Thank you for your support and love. We couldn't have done it without our family and friends. Again, it's amazing how far we've all come. The kids have changed our world and we're all the better for it! Here you are able to see some amazing BEFORE and AFTER pictures of the kids.

A Year Ago, Part 5

2007-04-23T14:54:00.000-04:00

1 year ago we were able to take the children out of the orphanage; the ten day wait was over. It was Easter Day in Ukraine- what a symbolic day- new beginnings and rebirth. L and T didn't look back when it was time to leave. They said a quick goodbye and that was it! They were ready to go! We dressed them in the new clothes we bought for them and we gave the orphanage a nice supply of fruits and juice for all the children we left behind. We took them to a park that was by Irena's apartment. (Irena was the lady from the orphanage who helped us and was considered our "translator" though her english wasn't very good!) Ken and I remember being excited about it- to finally be able to get the children OUT of the orphanage; it was day we waited SOOOoooo long for. But then we got anxious... now what do we do????

Lira's bottom two teeth were loose when we took them from the orphanage. She yanked them out herself a few days later! One year ago...today... Lira was in the dentist's office getting a tooth extracted that had developed an absess (sp?) and was causing her pain. She fell asleep after they gave her the "laughing gas" and she pulled through like a champ! I was so much more nervous than she was!

A Year Ago, Part 4

2007-04-14T16:14:00.000-04:00

Rewind 1 year. April 12, 2006, we're in Poltava, Ukraine. Our court appointment, which was scheduled for April 11th had been cancelled after waiting outside the courtroom for about 45 minutes. Now it's April 12th and we're ready to go to court again. Our facilitator shows up with the woman from the orphanage. He says he has bad news; there will be no court today. We questioned him, with our hearts sinking with each passing moment. He says that he has no money left to continue with our adoption. (Mind you, this is just a few days after $20,000 was demanded from us by our agency: money we weren't told we'd owe while in Ukraine. But I digress...) How could he not have any money!? This was ridiculous! So the heated discussion started. Ken and I were now yelling and our facilitator still refused to take us to court. Without him knowing, I turned my video camera on so I could record the conversation, even though it was just the audio. At some point, I was crying, Ken was yelling, I was yelling, I was calm, I was pacing, Ken had steam coming out of his ears. Lira and Timmy were OUR children and we weren't going to accept our facilitator's B.S. I made him repeat his explanation of needing money, what it was for, and how he didn't receive any of the money that was wired to our agency in the states because I wanted it recorded. I then went into our bedroom, took out all of the cash that we had on us at that point which was well over $5000. I came back in the room and yelled at him, "What is that you want? Money!? Then here's your (bleeping) money!" and I threw the cash on the table in front of him. I can't imagine what the lady from the orphanage was thinking at this point in time. I didn't care how much money our facilitator wanted to extort, these children were ours and I wasn't leaving the country without them. He didn't take the money. I can't recall the words that were then exchanged between Ken and the facilitator but I went into our bedroom and called the "President" of our agency. I was quite upset, told her what was in the process of going on and she called me a liar. I told her to listen to the background noise, she'd hear the facilitator's voice. I started yelling at her for not sending him the money- she wanted me to put him on our phone. I was fed up so I yelled at her to call the facilitator on her "own dime" and do her (bleep) job. I hung up on her. The facilitator took the lady from the orphanage and left. They left us in our room. Alone. Stranded. No answers. No court date. I was hysterical. I called my family, hysterical. Within moments both of my parents and my aunt (who helped us come up with the cash the week before) were on the phone repeatedly calling the agency. Ken and I were devastated. Lost. Scared. More phone calls went back and forth and within an hour or so (I don't recall how much time passed) our facilitator knocked on our door and apologized. He said he would reschedule the court date for tomorrow morning.

April 13, 2006- The woman from the orphanage who was supposed to come to court with us had left for Kiev. We needed someone from the orphanage at the hearing. Our facilitator, after stressfully scrambling, found a man to take to court with us. Ken and I jokingly called him "the janitor" because that's what he looked like. We made it to court, had the hearing, and officially became parents. It was Ken's birthday- what a day to become an official father! We didn't really celebrate or get to excited when we first heard the ruling from the judge- at least for me, I almost didn't believe it- I was waiting for something else to go wrong.

Now, April 13, 2007- Lira and Timmy are gorgeous, happy, healthy, adjusted, loving, smart, speaking 100% english. We're a family. Playing soccer and driving a mini-van. Ken had a nice birthday with adorable gifts from his children for the 1st time.

Oh, and as for the money that we paid the agency last year that our facilitator said he hadn't received- supposedly our agency had mistakenly wired it to Latvia.

Want to see before/after pics of the kids? Take a look at the previous post, "A Year Ago, Part 3"

A Year Ago, Part 3

2007-04-01T16:53:00.000-04:00

(March 30th) A year ago we met Lira and Timmy for the first time. I'll never forget when they walked into the Director's office, holding hands. They came in and shyly said, "Dobre Dien" which is like Good Morning/Good Day. Ken and I fell in love and I wanted to start crying. We (obviously) accepted the referral and paperwork started very quickly. Here are a few pictures. One picture is of Ken and I with Oksana from the NAC- she gave us the referral for L and T. There are also pictures of L and T from 1 year ago and a picture taken this weekend at our hotel in Niagara Falls. The changes, especially with Lira, are AMAZING.

A Year Ago Today, Part 2

2007-03-27T20:11:00.000-04:00

A year ago today was our first day in Kiev. We left Dulles Airport on March 26th and flew through Frankfurt, Germany. Ken says he doesn't really remember that flight at all. If it wasn't for the pictures I took, I'd probably forget a lot about it, too. I remember that my thoughts were consumed with becoming parents and I was determined to make it a successful trip to Ukraine. Our 1st day in Kiev was spent site-seeing at Independence Square and Myhailivskyj Cathedral, which is in this set of pictures. The 28th was our appointment date at the NAC. We didn't get much sleep the night before the appointment. Talk about anxiety! I had been getting stress-related heartburn constantly for weeks up until we left for Ukraine so I had a HUGE Costco-sized supply of heartburn medicine for the trip.

Photos are of memories from a year ago yesterday and today. There are two from the cathedral, one of the flight info during our layover in Germany, one of the address of our apartment in Kiev that we rented, and one of Ken and I on the tram in Kiev.

1 Year Ago, Part 1

2007-03-22T17:01:00.000-04:00

It was a year ago on March 25th that Ken and I left for Ukraine. The days before the flight are such a blur right now; it seems like life before Lira and Timmy was a decade ago, when it's only been 11 months. I've been spending time reflecting on the past year, especially when we first met the kids and our visits with them. I get teary-eyed from time to time so the next month is going to bring a lot of tearful reminiscing as the anniversary of major events of the adoption go by. (But as Lira and I like to say, they are "happy tears!"

Here are some pics taken about 1 year ago. There's a couple of our bed covered with things to bring with us to Ukraine. And other pictures are from exactly 1 year ago; my last day at work for that academic year. I became very close with my co-teachers, students and their parents and they all threw me a party/ shower. It was SOOOO sweet.

To Search or Not To Search...

2007-02-25T09:14:00.000-05:00

Right now Ken and I are debating whether or not to do a birth-parent search in Ukraine. There are so many questions we would like answered. If we move forward with this, we will keep the information private; we also don't plan to share the information with Lira and Timmy until they are much older. Since Lira and Timmy were placed in the orphanage as toddlers, they already have some recollection of their birth family; at least, Lira does. But she is forgetting so much of it. So... to those of you who read my blog who are adoptive families, I'd love some input... have you performed a birth family search? What's your experience? What questions do you ask the searcher to get answers to?

Friends from Ukraine

2007-02-19T12:41:00.000-05:00

While we were in Ukraine, we met a few other couples, but one in particular. Tammy and Billy had their appointment at the NAC the same day we did and we started talking to them while we were waiting for our appointment. After a bit of a wait, and lots of chatting, we discovered that we lived about 5 hours from each other. We traded home numbers and promised to keep in touch. After we had our appointments and received our referrals, Tammy and I gave each other tearful hugs and we decided to meet again that evening with a few other American families at the O'Briens pub in Kiev.

Tammy and Billy have two biological daughters and adopted Marina, then 7 years old. We chatted all about our experiences at the NAC that day as well as joys and anxieties we'd experience over the days to come. The next day, we all went our separate ways, not really expecting to meet again until we were in America. Don't you know it, we bumped into them again at the American Embassy in Ukraine, the day before we all left for America. Lira and Timmy met Marina and overwhelmed her with non-stop chatter! It was a sweet moment.

We have kept in touch via email and phone calls and Tammy decided that it's time we actually get together since we've talked about it for almost 9 months now. So, this weekend, they made the drive and spent the weekend here. They came with Marina and their middle daughter, Allison. The kids got along famously, especially Marina and Lira. They have so much in common with the experiences in their lives. Lira didn't want to leave Marina's side and when their visit was over, Lira cried as she went to sleep.

It was so nice for our families to see each other again and talk about our experiences in Ukraine. We plan to continue to keep in touch and next time our family is driving out to see them! Lira can't wait! (And neither can I!)

Timmy's Birthday... "I'm Rich!"

2007-02-13T16:33:00.000-05:00

When I was putting Timmy to bed on the night of his birthday, he laid in his (new "big boy")bed, crossed his legs, and put his arms behind his head. With a huge smile he said, "Mom... I rich! I have a new big bed, I have lots of new toys, I'M RICH!" And there you have it. I had a good giggle out of that. I told him he was rich with love from his family and he said, "Yep, and I'll love you forever, mom!" After he said that, I felt rich. That's what keeps me going these days- the love from the kids no matter how frustrating a day it might have been.

Timmy's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese was great. Nana and Poppy drove down from PA for the party and Timmy had 8 of his friends, not to mention the adults that came (despite it being at Chuck E. Cheese!) It's a new Chuck E. restaurant that just opened within the past year, so it was much bigger than the other few I've been in, and a bit cleaner...Phew! Although I thought the party would be too overstimulating for Lira and Tim, they both did great. Tim just gets a bit quiet and tries to take it all in. Lira didn't seem to be affected by any of it. So, there you have it... yet another sign they're adjusting! While the waitress was lighting Timmy's bday cake, he said to me that he wished it was his birthday EVERY day! (Meanwhile I'm wishing my birthday only came every-other year so remaining at the age of 30 wouldn't be so much of a lie! LOL)

Lira's Birthday

2007-01-22T18:11:00.000-05:00

Lira's Princess Tea Party was a huge success! There were a total of 12 kids, including Lira and Timmy. About 1/2 of them were dressed in Princess dresses, the rest were in nice dressy clothes. When everyone sang "Happy Birthday" to Lira, the look on her face was priceless and I couldn't help but get teary-eyed! Knowing this was the first birthday party she's ever had- it breaks my heart but at the same time makes me happy that we're able to provide one for her.

During the party there was an "etiquette" lesson by the woman we hired to do the tea party and believe it or not, the 11 girls (ages 4-7) were SO well behaved! They listened and were really into the whole thing! Timmy was the only boy and although he didn't want to join in at first, he did after a little coaxing and did really well! It didn't get crazy until Lira opened her gifts; then it was a mob-scene! I couldn't even tell you what she received from whom until after the girls left. Luckily, my girlfriend was standing behind Lira and wrote down a list for me! Now I'm planning Timmy's birthday party. We're doing it at Chuck E. Cheese and although the place is SO loud and a bit overstimulating, I've gotta say that I'm thankful that it won't be at the house! What a clean-up we had to do after Lira's party! LOL

Martin Luther King

2007-01-16T16:06:00.000-05:00

Lira and Timmy are learning about American History, such as Martin Luther King.
Timmy's take on it: Marshin Loofer King was a very nice man! He even let us stay home from school!
Lira's take: One night ML had this dream, and when he woke up he wanted new friends at school.

In other news, we're planning Lira's birthday party. We are having a Princess Tea Party and invited several girls we've introduced Lira to (our friends' daughters) as well as all the girls in Lira's class. (They have an "all or nothing" policy.) Out of the 10 or so girls in her class that were invited, only 4 of their mothers RSVP'd! Is this how things are with childrens' parties? I am having a woman come to the house to "host" the tea party and she needed a head-count so she brings enough supplies, including cupcakes, etc. I gave her the number on Saturday, including one extra "just in case." I'm glad I did because one of the mothers called Sunday apologizing for not calling sooner. (We asked for people to RSVP by Wed. of this past week.) So what do I do if other mothers call this week?? I already gave a head count!

Timmy's birthday is right around the corner from Lira's. They are 12 months and 2 weeks apart in age. So, we're not even finished with Lira's and I'm trying to get Timmy's together. Timmy agreed to having his party at Chuck E. Cheese, which will be a load off my plate! This week is crazy-busy, so as soon as I get a chance to breathe, I'll have to run to the store to getting invitations.

Thanks for checking our blog!

Happy New Year!!

2007-01-02T16:56:00.000-05:00

This New Year's Eve was very low-key. Our usual New Year's Eves in the past were spent with our friends, either having a party at our house or going to one close-by. We usually had our favorite drinks in our hands- be it wine or Ken's "Captain and Coke". But the past 3 New Years Evenings were childless on our part, and each one of those evenings I had prayed that it would be the year Ken and I became parents. My prayers were finally answered in 2006, and so I had no problem spending NYE this year sitting on the recliner, Ken sitting on the couch, both of us watching shows on TiVO and occasionally checking out Dick Clark on TV. (Ken probably didn't mind staying at home NYE because he needed to catch up on his Z's; He had his fill of fun by flying up to NY the day before and spending the night partying with friends. I stayed home and held down the fort!) We gave each other a kiss at midnight and by 12:15am, we were headed to bed and asleep minutes later. I had explained what New Year's Eve and Day were to Lira and Timmy but we didn't have them stay up past their usual bedtime. We needed to keep our homelife normal as the kids headed back to school today, Jan. 2nd. New Year's Day I had fixed a nice roast dinner and we talked about New Years Resolutions. Lira said she was going to "listen to her teachers more" and "love her family a lot" and Timmy said his resolution was to "listen to mommy and daddy more!" Of course, Timmy didn't keep to his resolution for very long, but it's ok- it was a cute moment nonetheless. Happy New Year!

Christmas Pictures

2006-12-29T15:10:00.000-05:00

Here are some pictures that go along with the details of the earlier post about Lira and Timmy's 1st Christmas... The pics are a bit out of order. The last picture (of me and Lira hugging) was when she gave me her gift and I started crying!

Oh My Gosh! Look at All Those Presents!

2006-12-28T13:36:00.000-05:00

It's hard to remember back to Christmas morning- it all seems like a bit of a blur. The kids had a wonderful (though overstimulating) Christmas.

I attempted to make a nice Christmas Eve dinner after I got home from church with Lira. I made salad, Vareniki and Pelmini, along with sausage that I bought at the russian market. (The sausage wasn't very good, though!) After dinner we opened gifts from friends and extended family. Ken and I exchanged most of our gifts, too. The kids were so excited, and they did a wonderful job with being greatful for their gifts. I was pretty good about not crying until I opened the gift from Lira. It was a little wall-plaque that said, "Home is Where Your Mom Is" and the flood gates opened! Afterwards, they got a call from Santa, who strangely sounded a little like my dad!? Hmmm... go figure!

Anways, after talking to him, they agreed to put out chocolate chip cookies for him and crackers for the reindeer. They got ready for bed, and though they were INCREDIBLY excited, they didn't give us a hard time about it. We read the book, Twas the Night Before Christmas, and the kids went to bed.

The next morning, Lira woke us up (Timmy was already in bed with me.) We tortured them by telling them they needed to wait at the top of the stairs until we plugged in the Christmas Tree and made coffee! (My parents did that to me as a child, I have to pass on the tradition!) I got the video camera and taped their expressions when they came down and saw all the gifts under the tree. It was absolutely PRICELESS! Lira looked like she was going to pass out with her eyes so wide and Timmy looked like his brain would pop open! He jumped, shook, and yelled, "Oh My Gosh! Look at All Those Presents!"

An amazing day. The four of us drove up to NJ for Christmas dinner with my family and spent the next couple days with my parents in PA. The kids received lots of great gifts from so many people. It will always be a treasured Christmas- for the entire family. We came home a day or so early because the kids were in overload. Let's just say it wasn't a low-key Christmas. Live and learn. Now that we're home, the kids are getting back to normal. (I'm still trying to relax from it all, though!) Ken's back at work- lucky him! ;) His job over the past four days has been a "toy engineer!" He's had to put together all the toys and find working batteries! His first of many Daddy duties that comes with Christmas!

Four Days of Christmas

2006-12-24T12:36:00.000-05:00

Lira and Timmy are going to go out of their mind with Christmas this year! Yesterday our friends Nick and Melanie took them out for their special Christmas gift after we were finished making Christmas cookies for our friends in the neighborhood. Melanie and Nick took L &T to dinner then surprised the kids by taking them to Build a Bear! This was such a fun surprise for them! Lira made a "Hello Kitty" doll dressed in matching pajamas, and Timmy made a monkey dressed in a fireman's uniform- what a great choice since he's our little "monkey"! Lira and Timmy were so excited when they got home- so just imagine what the next few days will be like. L & T repeated how much they loved their new stuffed animals and love to tell the story of how they're made. Timmy was sitting with me telling me, "I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT!" and rubbed his eyes- he had tears in his eyes and said, "Mommy, I have happy tears!" Of course, I just lost it and started crying (those who know me aren't surprised), and we gave each other such big hugs. (I'm tearing up as I type this now!) Just wait until tomorrow morning when the kids see what Santa brings them- I'll be crying the entire time!

So why title this, "Four Days of Christmas"? Because Ken's "1/2 Jewish" and I'm Catholic! No, just kidding. L & T will have 4 days of gift-giving (mostly receiving on their part) and their heads are going to explode by the last day! I'll keep you all updated. And of course, pictures will come soon!

Santa Claus is Coming to Town!

2006-12-19T14:51:00.000-05:00

I just realized how long it's been since I updated this blog. I've had so many intentions of updating it before now, but like most things during the holiday season, it was put off... I have just a few minutes to bring you all up to speed before the kids' bus comes. So, here it is...

Lira was picked up by the "reading recovery" program in school. I was pleased by this- apparently there's quite a wait list. Lira's been on it since the beginning of the year. Even though she's making nice gains compared to the lack of skills she started the year off with, she's behind where the other 1st graders are. (We're not shocked by this, now are we!?) So she gets 1-to-1 reading lessons, 30 minutes per day with a reading recovery specialist. This is in addition to her regular reading lessons and her ESOL which is twice per week. Otherwise, we're working on her impulse control! :) Her teacher said that Lira always shouts out answers in class and doesn't give other kids a chance to participate. Though we're working on that, I'm just so impressed that her language skills are advanced enough for her to even do that! On the home front, she talks ALL the time. Literally.

Timmy's doing great. Knock on wood, there haven't been anymore incidents of hitting others. He's making so much progress on his letters and sounds and picture drawings for story-telling. Apparently he talks quite a bit in school, also, but the teacher doesn't seem to concerned at this point. Maybe he talks more in school than at home because no one can get a word in edge-wise with Lira talking all the time!! hahahaha

Regarding Santa- I took the kids to the mall on Sunday for them to meet Santa. We stood in line just to find out that from where we were, it would take us 3 hours before we could see him!! RIDICULOUS!!! Even the kids didn't want to stand in line that long to see him. Since Ken wasn't with me, we couldn't tag-team and shop or take the kids to the play area. Yesterday I asked the kids if they wanted to see Santa as soon as they got out of school. They didn't want to go because (as they said), "I don't want to stand in a LOOOOOOONG line! I want to play!" And who could blame them? It was an unseasonable 70 degrees outside!

OK, gotta run, but there you have it. I don't know who is more excited about Christmas morning- me or the kids!

California Trip- The kids' perspective

2006-12-01T20:04:00.000-05:00

I'll let the kids tell you all about it. I'll type of course, but I'm going to try to quote them!

Lira's version:
We go to the airplane and our ears were hurting- mommy and Lira. And when we got there, Grandma was so happy! Grandma said she's gonna hug, kiss, and bite me. And then we went to Larissa's house for Thanksgiving. Oops, sorry, Aunt Hazel's house. I met Grandma June and Grandma July. We... did.... we played with Larissa and we gave her a hair thing and Timmy give her a bracelet. We had a big dinner. Turkey! Corn! Turkey, corn, and ...corn! And I remember, potatoes! There were a lot a people. We go to the Disneyland and we saw the real princesses and they know my name! They know Timmy's name- Belle, Cinderella, and Jasmine, every princess was there. Pocohantas was there, too. She was from other countries but she still speaks english. And then I was crying because I had happy tears. And then I was, we got lunch, and we danced with Jasmine and Belle. And Belle blew me a kiss and I blew her back!

Timmy's version:
We go to Inglesdan. (I asked what this was- I have no clue! He says...) It's a toy store. Grandma bought me cars. And that's it. (I asked him what else we did...) We went to Titka Dani's house? Who's house did we go to, Mommy? Oh, Aunt Hazel's house. We went there for to play. After we went to Grandma's house. And that's it, Mom. (I asked him for more.) We went to Disneyland. And what else? I had some rides and that was FUN! We fight Dark Vader. Darth Maul had horns. We become Jedi. We went in a spaceship. Mommy, I don't want to tell no more!

And so you have it. We go to California for 8 days for the kids to meet family, and this is what stands out in their memory. Gotta love kids! :) Here are a few pics from the trip. I took several hundred! ;)

Happy Thanksgiving

2006-11-25T23:42:00.000-05:00

The four of us spent Thanksgiving in Californina and the kids had a chance to meet their "West Coast" family (Ken's side of the family!) They had already met Grandma shortly after they first came home to America and were very excited to see her again as well as meet everyone else. There were SO many funny moments with the kids- they definitely do NOT lack personality! I think the most common statement from the family (and friends) was how impressed they were with Lira and Timmy's english skills. Many people, including a stranger at the park, said how Timmy looks so much like the boy in the Jerry Maguire movie. We have tons of pictures from all of the different experiences the kids enjoyed. Right now I'm SO very tired that I can't remember the comical comments from Lira. (And if you read the previous post, you've gotten a sense for her personality and search for knowledge! LOL) I'll post again soon.

I do have to mention that L&T loved Thanksgiving dinner and all the food that the family shared. (There were 19 of us.) Lira was ready for 2nds before most of the people were anywhere close to finishing their first helping of food. Timmy and Lira are now huge fans of turkey dinners!

We did get to see the lighting of the Christmas Tree in Mammoth Village- by Santa Clause himself, no less! He arrived in his sleigh with 2 of his reindeer- Lira and Timmy were again overwhelmed, but in a good way. So we couldn't pass up the opportunity to see Santa and remind him that L & T now "lived in Virginia, though we had a feeling he already knew that." After a minute or two, he caught on! Pictures to come soon...

The Dreaded Question!

2006-11-10T15:56:00.000-05:00

I wasn't present when the following conversation took place, but I'll do my best to repeat what Ken told me had occured...

Lira: Daddy, what's sex?

Ken: (silent, dumbfounded, trying not to choke)

Ken: Oh, it's the number after 5 but before 7.

Lira: No, daddy! Sex!

Ken: Yes, Lira, sex! 5, sex, 7!

Timmy: Daddy!!

Ken: What, Timmy!?!?!

Lira: No, not the number, daddy! This! (Acting out kissing.)

Ken: (looks baffled)

Lira: Timmy, forget it. Daddy doesn't know.

11/15/06: Ken wanted me to add this..
I was dumb founded and 3 shades of red. But it was very cute. Gee honey, thanx so much for capturing that moment!! ;-)”

Pictures from Halloween

2006-11-02T15:11:00.000-05:00

Happy Halloween

2006-11-01T18:58:00.000-05:00

Lira and Timmy had SUCH A GREAT halloween! They really enjoyed dressing up and trick or treating around the neighborhoods. Timmy would say, "Trick or Treat" even before anyone answered the door! He would also say it to cars we'd pass as they were stopped at red lights as well as saying it to people we passed throughout the night! Too cute! They were very good with their manners and saying, "thank you." It was so cute to hear them shout, "I GOT A LOLLIPOP!" as they'd walk away from some houses. Timmy had a blast being dressed up like Batman- look out Gotham City! Lira was a beautiful angel and loved wearing the costume and make-up. We also lucked out with the weather- it was in the high 60's I'd have to guess.

The kids got SO much candy. After we came home, we had them dump it all out on the table. We have pictures of them going through it- they look SO tired and wiped but also pleasantly overwhelmed by what they had accumulated. This morning Lira had a pretty sour belly. We're thinking it *might* have had something to do with the candy she ate last night- even though she didn't actually eat THAT much, it was more than she's probably ever had in any given day.

(I tried uploading pictures, but there was a problem. I'll be checking back within the next day or so to try it again- you've gotta see the kids in their costumes!)

Pictures!

2006-10-30T22:00:00.000-05:00

Here are some pictures from this weekend- we celebrated our 6 months home as a family!

6 Month Anniversary!

2006-10-29T15:49:00.000-05:00

Today was our 6 month anniversary of being home as a family. I know a lot of adoptive families celebrate their "gotcha day" as the day they officially became parents and children of one another via a court ruling. But our court date was somewhat anti-climatic; since it had been cancelled three times and we couldn't even take the kids out of the orphanage for another 10 days afterwards, it just didn't feel official. So instead of counting from April 13th, our court date, I've been counting from April 30th: the day we landed on American soil and walked into our front door as a family! To celebrate our anniversary, we went to breakfast, and though it wasn't a fancy place, it's one that they kids do well at. My parents were visiting for the weekend so they joined us, which made it extra special.

The past 6 months have really rocked our world. Life has been turned upside-down since becoming parents, but that's not a bad thing! We're finally getting used to being "parents" which was a pretty foreign concept in the beginning. I think Ken and I are doing the best we can, but make some parental mistakes here and there. (This is true for all new parents, right? Right? Hello?!) Lira and Timmy have been adjusting very, very well. The "bonding process" continues and I think it's coming along at a very nice pace, but there's still room for growth. We're not having attachment "problems", which is great. Lira is still closer to me than she is with Ken; it seems like she takes two steps forward, then one step back with her and her daddy. When Ken has opportunities to spend time with the kids without me there, Lira is much more affectionate towards him. But lately between his work schedule, projects within our community, his softball team, projects in the house, and volunteering, his time with the kids has been limited.

Lira and Timmy love their extended family, and this is truly reciprocated. I try to arrange visits with my parents and sister and her family about once a month. (They live about 3 hours away. I wish we could see them even more frequently!) They also talk on the phone quite a bit. Lira and Timmy are very close with my sister's daughters. Lira and Tim have met Ken's mom (their grandmother) and have spoken on the phone with a few other members of Ken's family. They live in different places on the west coast, so opportunities to visit are limited, as you can imagine. We're preparing Lira and Tim for a trip to California over Thanksgiving to meet most of the west-coast family. I'm excited and nervous about that all at the same time!

This past weekend we participated in their school's "International Night" by having a table where we displayed pictures of Ukraine and a bunch of traditional Ukrainian items we brought back from our trip. (I'll post pictures soon!) We also served Ukrainian peirogies which were a big hit. Lira and Tim had a fun time with some of their classmates as well as having a chance to taste lots of foods from other countries, too. Just a few more days until Halloween- Lira and Timmy can't wait!! I'll be sure to post pictures soon!

"Thank You"

2006-10-26T19:27:00.000-04:00

I know I just posted earlier today, but I had to add this charming post about a "thank you."

This morning Lira was putting on her new sneakers that we bought last night. As she was putting on her shoes, out of the blue she said, "Thank you, mommy, for my new shoes!" After a pause she said with a sad face, "I never had new shoes when I lived in the internat (orphanage); we always had to wear old, ugly shoes that always don't fit us!"

I can't tell you how much that sweet "thank you" filled my heart with joy and sadness at the same time.

Smile for the Camera

2006-10-26T15:00:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was 'picture day' at school for the kids and they looked so adorable when they left the house in the morning. I had told them over the past week that I wanted them to look nice for the pictures. (This was more for Lira's ears than Timmy's; she can be a bit stubborn about not wearing her hair too neat in the morning or about what she wants to wear for school.) So the night before last we decided to pick out the clothes. Lira wanted to wear a pretty black dress and pink & black jacket. It was an ADORABLE outfit even though it was a bit dressier than I had in mind. But she looked great and therefore, I decided I wouldn't let this become a battle. In the meantime, I was also preparing her for the fact that I was going to "do" her hair for photo day! Timmy saw what Lira picked out and said he wanted to wear something new and different for pictures, nothing he usually wears for school. THANK GOD FOR HAND-ME-DOWNS!!! Friends of the family had given us a few nice white button-down shirts and a nice button-up vest. Luckily he had matching black pants- he looked SO CUTE! And he loved the outfit! I made him promise he wouldn't dirty it or rip it until AFTER pictures. :)

Timmy's still working on keeping his hands "to himself" at school. With that being said, his teachers recently said they've seen a lot of improvement since Timmy started school. They are really looking out for him and taking his history into consideration when it comes to consequences for his occasional hitting behaviors. Lira is doing well despite the lack of ESOL support. (This week the ESOL teacher came only once.) I still work with her at home doing a phonics-based reading program and she goes to an extra reading class in the afternoons called "reading recovery." Today I took Lira to the doctor for a follow-up visit since she's been on the INH medication for a month now. (This is medicine for the positive TB test.) Lira is doing fine as far as that's going and doesn't have any problems taking the medicine! I had one other concern, but since the doctor says it's not anything to worry about, I won't even get into the details here. The kids are really looking forward to halloween next week- it'll be a blast for all of us! We can't wait to take them Trick-or-Treating!

Yes, Sometimes, No, Yes, No, Yes

2006-10-17T16:57:00.000-04:00

And that title pretty much describes the answers we've been getting as to whether Lira will be getting ESOL services. I was going to post a blog on Saturday after I was told in confidence that the ESOL teacher said he had no time to schedule for Lira. The more I thought about it, the more frustrated I became. He finally responded on my 3rd email yesterday; 4 days after I sent it. Now he IS able to see Lira twice per week. I was expecting this, but his email annoyed me a little bit. Before I tell you why, I'll copy and paste it here so you can read it:

"...with regard to Liras language development and progression from late spring/early summer to now, it is not expected that she would have made significant gains during a time of minimal academic activity and support. I have scheduled her for two days a week (Monday and Tuesday) of individual support inclusive of reading, writing, and oral language development. Since she is the only ESOL student in that class and lower emergent literacy levels are common at the first grade level, she will not be receiving individual support every day. We have 155 ESOL students and three ESOL teachers at our school. What I can promise you is that her support will be meaningful and focused on the days that I meet with her. Lira is actively engaged in her learning and pleasure to work with. I look forward to working with her. If you have any further questions feel free to contact me."

So, how would you reply to this? The first part that annoyed me was his assumption that she had little academic activity and support. She went to ESOL summer school AND I home schooled her!! She made tremendous gains between the two test dates and he didn't answer my question as to why he thought these gains were not evidenced in the testing!! I was also annoyed when he said how many ESOL students there were and how many teachers, as well as Lira's placement in her classroom. So does this mean that if she were placed in the classroom across the hall where there are many more children requiring ESOL support, she would be getting it more frequently? Is it my fault that there are only 3 teachers providing services in the school? My take on this: My daughter qualifies for services. Therefore, they MUST be provided. End of discussion.

Sigh.

Other than that, nothing too exciting to write about. Timmy's loving his karate lessons and Lira's loving her gymnastics classes. I'm exhausted right now, but when I get some more energy to write more, I'll have to tell you about the need for teaching the kids the story abou the boy who cried wolf!

Keep Your Hands to Yourself!

2006-10-13T19:18:00.000-04:00

This was the big lesson for Timmy this week. If you remember from an earlier post, Timmy's teacher had told us at Back to School Night that she was working with Timmy on keeping his hands to himself. Well this week we got a note home from her. Timmy didn't earn his smiley face that day and the note said, "Timmy had a hard time keeping his hands to himself." She went on to describe how he hit someone in the lunch room after he and others laughed at him for dropping his sandwich. She also told me how she handled the situation though my first reaction was to offer a consequence at home for Timmy's behavior. I had a long talk with Timmy about not hitting others and I tried teaching him some things to say to others instead of hitting. I told Ken about the incident, he read the note, and he talked to Timmy, too. I asked for some advice from my FRUA support network and they all agreed to let the consequences take place in school. Talking to him and teaching him strategies is one thing, but there's no need for any other real consequences from us; we need to be a safe place for him. The more I thought about the situation, I wondered if the kid actually deserved a reaction other a simple, "don't laugh at me"?!? (No, I'm not condoning violence, so don't read too much into that one!) And I wouldn't tell Timmy that a small part of me agreed with him because he is too young and immature to hear that understand my reasoning behind it. So, the "no hitting" rule and the "keep your hands to yourself rule" still apply.

Lira didn't have a very eventful week (that I'm aware of!) We did get a progress report sent home and she is doing well in more areas than I expected given her language situation! It does say that she needs improvement in reading and writing- no surprise there. I've learned that the ESOL teacher has yet to work with Lira since the first visit. Needless to say, I'm not very happy about that, so I've emailed the ESOL teacher about this three times as of yesterday. No response from him- STILL. Now it's time for me to take the next step. (I just have to figure out what the next step is!!) I continue to work with Lira almost each night on spelling, sounds, and reading. She's quite a trooper!

A couple new pictures

2006-10-07T08:59:00.000-04:00

This is a cute picture of Timmy with his new stuffed animal that was given to him as a gift last week. Lira received a big stuffed puppy that is equally as cute! Timmy loves his bear and has slept with it every night since he got it. Here he is in his pajamas with his bear before heading up for bed.

Below is Lira, minus her two front teeth!! She is getting a drink before heading up to bed, too.

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth...!

2006-10-05T19:36:00.000-04:00

So many great little things have happened since the last time I've had a chance to update this blog. I'm not sure where to start! Let's see... this might be a long one! I'll start with school.

Back to School night was at the end of September and we had a chance to talk briefly with both Lira and Timmy's teachers. It just so happened that Timmy didn't earn his smiley face for good behavior that day because he apparently hit someone. What timing- the same day that we'd meet with his teacher! His teacher had nice things to say about him and when we asked about the hitting incident, she didn't seem to concerned. Apparently it was a typical kindergarten argument with grabbing involved and then the hit- she doesn't know who hit first. No one was hurt, though, so it must not have been that bad! ;) I asked her about Timmy's behavior overall. She said that in the beginning of the year, Timmy was kissing everyone in his class! Then he moved on to getting very close to other people and trying to play or get their attention which would ultimately lead to touching them. She is working on "keep your hands to yourself" with Tim. Otherwise, he's just fine and his behaviors really aren't any different from that of the other kids. He is a bit immature for his age (shocker!) but the teacher said that this class as a whole is a bit "younger." Other than that, Timmy loves to participate in class and always wants to try whatever they are working on- he never backs down to a challenge. Their words, "He's so enthusiastic!" Woohoo! His coloring and letter/ sound knowledge has improved dramatically. (Is it school or just the fact he got glasses?) We have all noticed Timmy's language coming along nicely, though I want to persue (or is it pursue?) the possibility of getting him in Speech Therapy. (Since that night, I've followed up with the speech therapist at the school... details later!)

Lira's teacher had wonderful things to say about her. She's very motherly towards students who are having a hard time with tasks. (Which we've been told before and have observed!) Her language continues to come along beautifully. However, this doesn't mean she doesn't have a long road ahead of her to catch up to where other 6 year olds are. As of that night, she still hadn't received ESOL services that I had been told she would receive. The day prior to Back to School Night I had sent an email to all of the ESOL staff on the website (since I didn't know who to direct the email to) and received a response the next day. Lira's teacher said she really appreciated whatever I said in the email because that very next day the ESOL teacher was in to schedule Lira twice per week. Lira is also enthusiastic about school. I work with her at home on reading, letters, sounds, numbers, etc., and even after a full day of school she still likes to spend time with me doing these things.

Outside of school, we enrolled Timmy in Karate and Lira in Gymnastics. They both love it and I think it's a great outlet for them, as well as confidence boosters.

And I saved the big news (hence the title) for last: Lira's two front teeth came out!! Two in two days. The tooth fairy visited her and Lira insists she saw her, her wand and wings, and said she was beautiful. (Thanks, hahahaha!) :)

I'm sure I'm forgetting something, so once I remember I will post it. I'll try to get a picture of Lira with her new "toothless" smile!

Ukrainian Festival in MD

2006-09-18T17:10:00.000-04:00

Sunday we went to a Ukrainian Festival in Silver Spring, MD along with friends of ours who also adopted from Ukraine. We had a great time and Lira and Timmy really enjoyed having authentic Ukrainian food. Even though Ken and I complained about our food choices while we were in Ukraine, I/ we did have a few favorites that we were also able to have at the festival yesterday. Lately Lira has been telling us that she forgets how to speak Russian and she doesn't like it if I say a word in Russian or Ukrainian and she doesn't like it when I say her name with the "r" rolled like in Cyrillic. Because of that, I didn't know how she would react at the festival, but she really liked it. She said she wanted a "costume" like the Ukrainian dancers on stage.

New Glasses

2006-09-14T07:37:00.000-04:00

Timmy's glasses arrived this week and he's been trying to get used to wearing them. They are such a strong prescription; I can only imagine what his world has been like with such bad vision up until now. Although he complains a little bit about wearing them, (knock on wood) he isn't giving me much trouble about it. He's only taken them off and forgotten where they were one time. Lira luckily helped him find them. She's very jealous that she doesn't get to wear glasses, which I think is motivating Timmy to keep them on. You know how it goes: one sibling only wants something when the other has it, or the one sibling only keeps something he doesn't like to prevent the other one from getting it! :) As for school, they are both doing well- no real news on that front.

Some more "Firsts"

2006-09-10T09:28:00.000-04:00

Well the first week of school seemed to be a nice success for Lira and Timmy. They adjusted very well and I didn't get any calls from teachers! LOL No news is good news, yes? no? They both say they like school when they get off the bus and I ask them how their day went. I already hear both of them using a few new english words and they talk about new friends. Timmy takes a nap each day in school and I'm JEALOUS that he won't take a nap for me at home any more! :) But that's okay, I'm not complaining. Since school began this week, Timmy's behavior at home has REALLY improved. No temper tantrums and he listens a bit better. He tells me each day and night that he misses me and is very cuddly. I have to admit that since I've returned to work, I've been in a better mood, too. When the kids get home, I realize how much I've missed them and my patience has definitely been recharged. The kids fall asleep so fast at night, too. Friday night the kids asked if they could go to sleep in the same bed. They usually giggle and talk and play with a toy, but not this time! They were out like a light within minutes thanks to a full week of school!

Yesterday we had a lot of fun with the kids. I had purchased baseball tickets for Ken's birthday back in April. (Side story: I bought these tickets for Ken before we left for Ukraine since his birthday would fall during our adoption trip. I bought 3 tickets thinking we were going to adopt 1 boy. Ooops! So we had to make other arrangements for the baseball game!) We decided Ken would take Timmy to his 1st baseball game and take our friend Nick- they'd have a fun boy's day out. They really enjoyed it and Timmy was very well behaved, just taking "it all" in. Lira and I invited our friend Melanie to have a girl's day. Melanie suggested going to Claytime Cafe (a paint- your-own pottery place) and we had a GREAT time! We actually spent 4 hours painting pottery and Lira was such a good girl. Even when Mel and I were still painting, Lira helped the women who worked there and they were so great with her. The one woman took her around the store and showed Lira where the paint goes, how to clean the tiles, and how they "fire" the pieces people have painted. Lira loved it and said she wanted to work there all night; she said Ms. Mel and I could go home and pick her up in the morning when she was done working. Too funny!

Lira and Timmy's 1st day of school!

2006-09-05T19:15:00.000-04:00

Lira and Timmy were excited about their first day of school. Lira woke up early and got dressed and brushed her teeth before I even knew she was up! She woke Timmy up for me but he didn't approach the day with the same happiness and excitement as Lira. He was Captain Cranky Pants. (He's not a morning person!) Once he was dressed and ready to go, both of them were getting antsy to go to the bus stop. They both loved having lunch boxes and snacks. We were at the bus stop early and unfortunately, it was raining. Lira repeated over and over, "Mommy, where's the bus!?!" Timmy was pleasantly distracted by the puddles. Once the bus came, they ran over with excitement. I took some pictures and they were off! I did get a little bit teary-eyed, I admit. I thought of them all day while I was at work.

The end of the school day: The kids got off the school bus and had big smiles on their faces. They gave me hugs and when I asked them if they had a good day, they both said YES! They both said they liked going to school. (Later when the neighbors asked them, they said they didn't like it, which I thought was funny!) They were so excited to show me their Tuesday Folders. Timmy told me a story that the teacher read to him in class and talked about his day. Lira told me about a couple of her classmates and some things they did in school. I gave them big hugs and told them I missed them so much and love them, too. Lira's reply (which she's said before, I love it!) was, "Mommy, I love you very hard!"

All in all, a great day for them!

WELCOME TO OUR NEW BLOG!

2006-09-05T14:49:00.000-04:00

The website we had maintained through our adoption journey (www.adoptionjourney.bravehost.com) was becoming a burden to maintain. Since I have a Mac computer, its templates and web coding became difficult to manage. Since so much information has been stored there, I will keep that site active and will update it with adoption related news. I know many people have bookmarked that page because of the resources I've collected and posted.

SO, I decided to continue with a different blog, with a new name: Journey from Poltava. No longer is our blog so much about "the" adoption as it is about our life as a family: a family that came together through adoption.

Enjoy our journal as we encounter new experiences with our children. Thanks for supporting us on our journey!