A Year Ago, Part 5

1 year ago we were able to take the children out of the orphanage; the ten day wait was over. It was Easter Day in Ukraine- what a symbolic day- new beginnings and rebirth. L and T didn't look back when it was time to leave. They said a quick goodbye and that was it! They were ready to go! We dressed them in the new clothes we bought for them and we gave the orphanage a nice supply of fruits and juice for all the children we left behind. We took them to a park that was by Irena's apartment. (Irena was the lady from the orphanage who helped us and was considered our "translator" though her english wasn't very good!) Ken and I remember being excited about it- to finally be able to get the children OUT of the orphanage; it was day we waited SOOOoooo long for. But then we got anxious... now what do we do????

Lira's bottom two teeth were loose when we took them from the orphanage. She yanked them out herself a few days later! One year ago...today... Lira was in the dentist's office getting a tooth extracted that had developed an absess (sp?) and was causing her pain. She fell asleep after they gave her the "laughing gas" and she pulled through like a champ! I was so much more nervous than she was!

A Year Ago, Part 4

Rewind 1 year. April 12, 2006, we're in Poltava, Ukraine. Our court appointment, which was scheduled for April 11th had been cancelled after waiting outside the courtroom for about 45 minutes. Now it's April 12th and we're ready to go to court again. Our facilitator shows up with the woman from the orphanage. He says he has bad news; there will be no court today. We questioned him, with our hearts sinking with each passing moment. He says that he has no money left to continue with our adoption. (Mind you, this is just a few days after $20,000 was demanded from us by our agency: money we weren't told we'd owe while in Ukraine. But I digress...) How could he not have any money!? This was ridiculous! So the heated discussion started. Ken and I were now yelling and our facilitator still refused to take us to court. Without him knowing, I turned my video camera on so I could record the conversation, even though it was just the audio. At some point, I was crying, Ken was yelling, I was yelling, I was calm, I was pacing, Ken had steam coming out of his ears. Lira and Timmy were OUR children and we weren't going to accept our facilitator's B.S. I made him repeat his explanation of needing money, what it was for, and how he didn't receive any of the money that was wired to our agency in the states because I wanted it recorded. I then went into our bedroom, took out all of the cash that we had on us at that point which was well over $5000. I came back in the room and yelled at him, "What is that you want? Money!? Then here's your (bleeping) money!" and I threw the cash on the table in front of him. I can't imagine what the lady from the orphanage was thinking at this point in time. I didn't care how much money our facilitator wanted to extort, these children were ours and I wasn't leaving the country without them. He didn't take the money. I can't recall the words that were then exchanged between Ken and the facilitator but I went into our bedroom and called the "President" of our agency. I was quite upset, told her what was in the process of going on and she called me a liar. I told her to listen to the background noise, she'd hear the facilitator's voice. I started yelling at her for not sending him the money- she wanted me to put him on our phone. I was fed up so I yelled at her to call the facilitator on her "own dime" and do her (bleep) job. I hung up on her. The facilitator took the lady from the orphanage and left. They left us in our room. Alone. Stranded. No answers. No court date. I was hysterical. I called my family, hysterical. Within moments both of my parents and my aunt (who helped us come up with the cash the week before) were on the phone repeatedly calling the agency. Ken and I were devastated. Lost. Scared. More phone calls went back and forth and within an hour or so (I don't recall how much time passed) our facilitator knocked on our door and apologized. He said he would reschedule the court date for tomorrow morning.

April 13, 2006- The woman from the orphanage who was supposed to come to court with us had left for Kiev. We needed someone from the orphanage at the hearing. Our facilitator, after stressfully scrambling, found a man to take to court with us. Ken and I jokingly called him "the janitor" because that's what he looked like. We made it to court, had the hearing, and officially became parents. It was Ken's birthday- what a day to become an official father! We didn't really celebrate or get to excited when we first heard the ruling from the judge- at least for me, I almost didn't believe it- I was waiting for something else to go wrong.

Now, April 13, 2007- Lira and Timmy are gorgeous, happy, healthy, adjusted, loving, smart, speaking 100% english. We're a family. Playing soccer and driving a mini-van. Ken had a nice birthday with adorable gifts from his children for the 1st time.

Oh, and as for the money that we paid the agency last year that our facilitator said he hadn't received- supposedly our agency had mistakenly wired it to Latvia.

Want to see before/after pics of the kids? Take a look at the previous post, "A Year Ago, Part 3"

A Year Ago, Part 3

(March 30th) A year ago we met Lira and Timmy for the first time. I'll never forget when they walked into the Director's office, holding hands. They came in and shyly said, "Dobre Dien" which is like Good Morning/Good Day. Ken and I fell in love and I wanted to start crying. We (obviously) accepted the referral and paperwork started very quickly. Here are a few pictures. One picture is of Ken and I with Oksana from the NAC- she gave us the referral for L and T. There are also pictures of L and T from 1 year ago and a picture taken this weekend at our hotel in Niagara Falls. The changes, especially with Lira, are AMAZING.

A Year Ago Today, Part 2

A year ago today was our first day in Kiev. We left Dulles Airport on March 26th and flew through Frankfurt, Germany. Ken says he doesn't really remember that flight at all. If it wasn't for the pictures I took, I'd probably forget a lot about it, too. I remember that my thoughts were consumed with becoming parents and I was determined to make it a successful trip to Ukraine. Our 1st day in Kiev was spent site-seeing at Independence Square and Myhailivskyj Cathedral, which is in this set of pictures. The 28th was our appointment date at the NAC. We didn't get much sleep the night before the appointment. Talk about anxiety! I had been getting stress-related heartburn constantly for weeks up until we left for Ukraine so I had a HUGE Costco-sized supply of heartburn medicine for the trip.

Photos are of memories from a year ago yesterday and today. There are two from the cathedral, one of the flight info during our layover in Germany, one of the address of our apartment in Kiev that we rented, and one of Ken and I on the tram in Kiev.

1 Year Ago, Part 1

It was a year ago on March 25th that Ken and I left for Ukraine. The days before the flight are such a blur right now; it seems like life before Lira and Timmy was a decade ago, when it's only been 11 months. I've been spending time reflecting on the past year, especially when we first met the kids and our visits with them. I get teary-eyed from time to time so the next month is going to bring a lot of tearful reminiscing as the anniversary of major events of the adoption go by. (But as Lira and I like to say, they are "happy tears!"

Here are some pics taken about 1 year ago. There's a couple of our bed covered with things to bring with us to Ukraine. And other pictures are from exactly 1 year ago; my last day at work for that academic year. I became very close with my co-teachers, students and their parents and they all threw me a party/ shower. It was SOOOO sweet.

To Search or Not To Search...

Right now Ken and I are debating whether or not to do a birth-parent search in Ukraine. There are so many questions we would like answered. If we move forward with this, we will keep the information private; we also don't plan to share the information with Lira and Timmy until they are much older. Since Lira and Timmy were placed in the orphanage as toddlers, they already have some recollection of their birth family; at least, Lira does. But she is forgetting so much of it. So... to those of you who read my blog who are adoptive families, I'd love some input... have you performed a birth family search? What's your experience? What questions do you ask the searcher to get answers to?

Friends from Ukraine

While we were in Ukraine, we met a few other couples, but one in particular. Tammy and Billy had their appointment at the NAC the same day we did and we started talking to them while we were waiting for our appointment. After a bit of a wait, and lots of chatting, we discovered that we lived about 5 hours from each other. We traded home numbers and promised to keep in touch. After we had our appointments and received our referrals, Tammy and I gave each other tearful hugs and we decided to meet again that evening with a few other American families at the O'Briens pub in Kiev.

Tammy and Billy have two biological daughters and adopted Marina, then 7 years old. We chatted all about our experiences at the NAC that day as well as joys and anxieties we'd experience over the days to come. The next day, we all went our separate ways, not really expecting to meet again until we were in America. Don't you know it, we bumped into them again at the American Embassy in Ukraine, the day before we all left for America. Lira and Timmy met Marina and overwhelmed her with non-stop chatter! It was a sweet moment.

We have kept in touch via email and phone calls and Tammy decided that it's time we actually get together since we've talked about it for almost 9 months now. So, this weekend, they made the drive and spent the weekend here. They came with Marina and their middle daughter, Allison. The kids got along famously, especially Marina and Lira. They have so much in common with the experiences in their lives. Lira didn't want to leave Marina's side and when their visit was over, Lira cried as she went to sleep.

It was so nice for our families to see each other again and talk about our experiences in Ukraine. We plan to continue to keep in touch and next time our family is driving out to see them! Lira can't wait! (And neither can I!)

Timmy's Birthday... "I'm Rich!"

When I was putting Timmy to bed on the night of his birthday, he laid in his (new "big boy")bed, crossed his legs, and put his arms behind his head. With a huge smile he said, "Mom... I rich! I have a new big bed, I have lots of new toys, I'M RICH!" And there you have it. I had a good giggle out of that. I told him he was rich with love from his family and he said, "Yep, and I'll love you forever, mom!" After he said that, I felt rich. That's what keeps me going these days- the love from the kids no matter how frustrating a day it might have been.

Timmy's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese was great. Nana and Poppy drove down from PA for the party and Timmy had 8 of his friends, not to mention the adults that came (despite it being at Chuck E. Cheese!) It's a new Chuck E. restaurant that just opened within the past year, so it was much bigger than the other few I've been in, and a bit cleaner...Phew! Although I thought the party would be too overstimulating for Lira and Tim, they both did great. Tim just gets a bit quiet and tries to take it all in. Lira didn't seem to be affected by any of it. So, there you have it... yet another sign they're adjusting! While the waitress was lighting Timmy's bday cake, he said to me that he wished it was his birthday EVERY day! (Meanwhile I'm wishing my birthday only came every-other year so remaining at the age of 30 wouldn't be so much of a lie! LOL)

Lira's Birthday

Lira's Princess Tea Party was a huge success! There were a total of 12 kids, including Lira and Timmy. About 1/2 of them were dressed in Princess dresses, the rest were in nice dressy clothes. When everyone sang "Happy Birthday" to Lira, the look on her face was priceless and I couldn't help but get teary-eyed! Knowing this was the first birthday party she's ever had- it breaks my heart but at the same time makes me happy that we're able to provide one for her.

During the party there was an "etiquette" lesson by the woman we hired to do the tea party and believe it or not, the 11 girls (ages 4-7) were SO well behaved! They listened and were really into the whole thing! Timmy was the only boy and although he didn't want to join in at first, he did after a little coaxing and did really well! It didn't get crazy until Lira opened her gifts; then it was a mob-scene! I couldn't even tell you what she received from whom until after the girls left. Luckily, my girlfriend was standing behind Lira and wrote down a list for me! Now I'm planning Timmy's birthday party. We're doing it at Chuck E. Cheese and although the place is SO loud and a bit overstimulating, I've gotta say that I'm thankful that it won't be at the house! What a clean-up we had to do after Lira's party! LOL

Martin Luther King

Lira and Timmy are learning about American History, such as Martin Luther King.
Timmy's take on it: Marshin Loofer King was a very nice man! He even let us stay home from school!
Lira's take: One night ML had this dream, and when he woke up he wanted new friends at school.

In other news, we're planning Lira's birthday party. We are having a Princess Tea Party and invited several girls we've introduced Lira to (our friends' daughters) as well as all the girls in Lira's class. (They have an "all or nothing" policy.) Out of the 10 or so girls in her class that were invited, only 4 of their mothers RSVP'd! Is this how things are with childrens' parties? I am having a woman come to the house to "host" the tea party and she needed a head-count so she brings enough supplies, including cupcakes, etc. I gave her the number on Saturday, including one extra "just in case." I'm glad I did because one of the mothers called Sunday apologizing for not calling sooner. (We asked for people to RSVP by Wed. of this past week.) So what do I do if other mothers call this week?? I already gave a head count!

Timmy's birthday is right around the corner from Lira's. They are 12 months and 2 weeks apart in age. So, we're not even finished with Lira's and I'm trying to get Timmy's together. Timmy agreed to having his party at Chuck E. Cheese, which will be a load off my plate! This week is crazy-busy, so as soon as I get a chance to breathe, I'll have to run to the store to getting invitations.

Thanks for checking our blog!

Happy New Year!!

This New Year's Eve was very low-key. Our usual New Year's Eves in the past were spent with our friends, either having a party at our house or going to one close-by. We usually had our favorite drinks in our hands- be it wine or Ken's "Captain and Coke". But the past 3 New Years Evenings were childless on our part, and each one of those evenings I had prayed that it would be the year Ken and I became parents. My prayers were finally answered in 2006, and so I had no problem spending NYE this year sitting on the recliner, Ken sitting on the couch, both of us watching shows on TiVO and occasionally checking out Dick Clark on TV. (Ken probably didn't mind staying at home NYE because he needed to catch up on his Z's; He had his fill of fun by flying up to NY the day before and spending the night partying with friends. I stayed home and held down the fort!) We gave each other a kiss at midnight and by 12:15am, we were headed to bed and asleep minutes later. I had explained what New Year's Eve and Day were to Lira and Timmy but we didn't have them stay up past their usual bedtime. We needed to keep our homelife normal as the kids headed back to school today, Jan. 2nd. New Year's Day I had fixed a nice roast dinner and we talked about New Years Resolutions. Lira said she was going to "listen to her teachers more" and "love her family a lot" and Timmy said his resolution was to "listen to mommy and daddy more!" Of course, Timmy didn't keep to his resolution for very long, but it's ok- it was a cute moment nonetheless. Happy New Year!

Christmas Pictures

Here are some pictures that go along with the details of the earlier post about Lira and Timmy's 1st Christmas... The pics are a bit out of order. The last picture (of me and Lira hugging) was when she gave me her gift and I started crying!

Oh My Gosh! Look at All Those Presents!

It's hard to remember back to Christmas morning- it all seems like a bit of a blur. The kids had a wonderful (though overstimulating) Christmas.

I attempted to make a nice Christmas Eve dinner after I got home from church with Lira. I made salad, Vareniki and Pelmini, along with sausage that I bought at the russian market. (The sausage wasn't very good, though!) After dinner we opened gifts from friends and extended family. Ken and I exchanged most of our gifts, too. The kids were so excited, and they did a wonderful job with being greatful for their gifts. I was pretty good about not crying until I opened the gift from Lira. It was a little wall-plaque that said, "Home is Where Your Mom Is" and the flood gates opened! Afterwards, they got a call from Santa, who strangely sounded a little like my dad!? Hmmm... go figure!

Anways, after talking to him, they agreed to put out chocolate chip cookies for him and crackers for the reindeer. They got ready for bed, and though they were INCREDIBLY excited, they didn't give us a hard time about it. We read the book, Twas the Night Before Christmas, and the kids went to bed.

The next morning, Lira woke us up (Timmy was already in bed with me.) We tortured them by telling them they needed to wait at the top of the stairs until we plugged in the Christmas Tree and made coffee! (My parents did that to me as a child, I have to pass on the tradition!) I got the video camera and taped their expressions when they came down and saw all the gifts under the tree. It was absolutely PRICELESS! Lira looked like she was going to pass out with her eyes so wide and Timmy looked like his brain would pop open! He jumped, shook, and yelled, "Oh My Gosh! Look at All Those Presents!"

An amazing day. The four of us drove up to NJ for Christmas dinner with my family and spent the next couple days with my parents in PA. The kids received lots of great gifts from so many people. It will always be a treasured Christmas- for the entire family. We came home a day or so early because the kids were in overload. Let's just say it wasn't a low-key Christmas. Live and learn. Now that we're home, the kids are getting back to normal. (I'm still trying to relax from it all, though!) Ken's back at work- lucky him! ;) His job over the past four days has been a "toy engineer!" He's had to put together all the toys and find working batteries! His first of many Daddy duties that comes with Christmas!

Four Days of Christmas

Lira and Timmy are going to go out of their mind with Christmas this year! Yesterday our friends Nick and Melanie took them out for their special Christmas gift after we were finished making Christmas cookies for our friends in the neighborhood. Melanie and Nick took L &T to dinner then surprised the kids by taking them to Build a Bear! This was such a fun surprise for them! Lira made a "Hello Kitty" doll dressed in matching pajamas, and Timmy made a monkey dressed in a fireman's uniform- what a great choice since he's our little "monkey"! Lira and Timmy were so excited when they got home- so just imagine what the next few days will be like. L & T repeated how much they loved their new stuffed animals and love to tell the story of how they're made. Timmy was sitting with me telling me, "I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT!" and rubbed his eyes- he had tears in his eyes and said, "Mommy, I have happy tears!" Of course, I just lost it and started crying (those who know me aren't surprised), and we gave each other such big hugs. (I'm tearing up as I type this now!) Just wait until tomorrow morning when the kids see what Santa brings them- I'll be crying the entire time!

So why title this, "Four Days of Christmas"? Because Ken's "1/2 Jewish" and I'm Catholic! No, just kidding. L & T will have 4 days of gift-giving (mostly receiving on their part) and their heads are going to explode by the last day! I'll keep you all updated. And of course, pictures will come soon!

Santa Claus is Coming to Town!

I just realized how long it's been since I updated this blog. I've had so many intentions of updating it before now, but like most things during the holiday season, it was put off... I have just a few minutes to bring you all up to speed before the kids' bus comes. So, here it is...

Lira was picked up by the "reading recovery" program in school. I was pleased by this- apparently there's quite a wait list. Lira's been on it since the beginning of the year. Even though she's making nice gains compared to the lack of skills she started the year off with, she's behind where the other 1st graders are. (We're not shocked by this, now are we!?) So she gets 1-to-1 reading lessons, 30 minutes per day with a reading recovery specialist. This is in addition to her regular reading lessons and her ESOL which is twice per week. Otherwise, we're working on her impulse control! :) Her teacher said that Lira always shouts out answers in class and doesn't give other kids a chance to participate. Though we're working on that, I'm just so impressed that her language skills are advanced enough for her to even do that! On the home front, she talks ALL the time. Literally.

Timmy's doing great. Knock on wood, there haven't been anymore incidents of hitting others. He's making so much progress on his letters and sounds and picture drawings for story-telling. Apparently he talks quite a bit in school, also, but the teacher doesn't seem to concerned at this point. Maybe he talks more in school than at home because no one can get a word in edge-wise with Lira talking all the time!! hahahaha

Regarding Santa- I took the kids to the mall on Sunday for them to meet Santa. We stood in line just to find out that from where we were, it would take us 3 hours before we could see him!! RIDICULOUS!!! Even the kids didn't want to stand in line that long to see him. Since Ken wasn't with me, we couldn't tag-team and shop or take the kids to the play area. Yesterday I asked the kids if they wanted to see Santa as soon as they got out of school. They didn't want to go because (as they said), "I don't want to stand in a LOOOOOOONG line! I want to play!" And who could blame them? It was an unseasonable 70 degrees outside!

OK, gotta run, but there you have it. I don't know who is more excited about Christmas morning- me or the kids!

California Trip- The kids' perspective

I'll let the kids tell you all about it. I'll type of course, but I'm going to try to quote them!

Lira's version:
We go to the airplane and our ears were hurting- mommy and Lira. And when we got there, Grandma was so happy! Grandma said she's gonna hug, kiss, and bite me. And then we went to Larissa's house for Thanksgiving. Oops, sorry, Aunt Hazel's house. I met Grandma June and Grandma July. We... did.... we played with Larissa and we gave her a hair thing and Timmy give her a bracelet. We had a big dinner. Turkey! Corn! Turkey, corn, and ...corn! And I remember, potatoes! There were a lot a people. We go to the Disneyland and we saw the real princesses and they know my name! They know Timmy's name- Belle, Cinderella, and Jasmine, every princess was there. Pocohantas was there, too. She was from other countries but she still speaks english. And then I was crying because I had happy tears. And then I was, we got lunch, and we danced with Jasmine and Belle. And Belle blew me a kiss and I blew her back!

Timmy's version:
We go to Inglesdan. (I asked what this was- I have no clue! He says...) It's a toy store. Grandma bought me cars. And that's it. (I asked him what else we did...) We went to Titka Dani's house? Who's house did we go to, Mommy? Oh, Aunt Hazel's house. We went there for to play. After we went to Grandma's house. And that's it, Mom. (I asked him for more.) We went to Disneyland. And what else? I had some rides and that was FUN! We fight Dark Vader. Darth Maul had horns. We become Jedi. We went in a spaceship. Mommy, I don't want to tell no more!

And so you have it. We go to California for 8 days for the kids to meet family, and this is what stands out in their memory. Gotta love kids! :) Here are a few pics from the trip. I took several hundred! ;)

Happy Thanksgiving

The four of us spent Thanksgiving in Californina and the kids had a chance to meet their "West Coast" family (Ken's side of the family!) They had already met Grandma shortly after they first came home to America and were very excited to see her again as well as meet everyone else. There were SO many funny moments with the kids- they definitely do NOT lack personality! I think the most common statement from the family (and friends) was how impressed they were with Lira and Timmy's english skills. Many people, including a stranger at the park, said how Timmy looks so much like the boy in the Jerry Maguire movie. We have tons of pictures from all of the different experiences the kids enjoyed. Right now I'm SO very tired that I can't remember the comical comments from Lira. (And if you read the previous post, you've gotten a sense for her personality and search for knowledge! LOL) I'll post again soon.

I do have to mention that L&T loved Thanksgiving dinner and all the food that the family shared. (There were 19 of us.) Lira was ready for 2nds before most of the people were anywhere close to finishing their first helping of food. Timmy and Lira are now huge fans of turkey dinners!

We did get to see the lighting of the Christmas Tree in Mammoth Village- by Santa Clause himself, no less! He arrived in his sleigh with 2 of his reindeer- Lira and Timmy were again overwhelmed, but in a good way. So we couldn't pass up the opportunity to see Santa and remind him that L & T now "lived in Virginia, though we had a feeling he already knew that." After a minute or two, he caught on! Pictures to come soon...

The Dreaded Question!

I wasn't present when the following conversation took place, but I'll do my best to repeat what Ken told me had occured...

Lira: Daddy, what's sex?

Ken: (silent, dumbfounded, trying not to choke)

Ken: Oh, it's the number after 5 but before 7.

Lira: No, daddy! Sex!

Ken: Yes, Lira, sex! 5, sex, 7!

Timmy: Daddy!!

Ken: What, Timmy!?!?!

Lira: No, not the number, daddy! This! (Acting out kissing.)

Ken: (looks baffled)

Lira: Timmy, forget it. Daddy doesn't know.

11/15/06: Ken wanted me to add this..
I was dumb founded and 3 shades of red. But it was very cute. Gee honey, thanx so much for capturing that moment!! ;-)”

Pictures from Halloween

Happy Halloween

Lira and Timmy had SUCH A GREAT halloween! They really enjoyed dressing up and trick or treating around the neighborhoods. Timmy would say, "Trick or Treat" even before anyone answered the door! He would also say it to cars we'd pass as they were stopped at red lights as well as saying it to people we passed throughout the night! Too cute! They were very good with their manners and saying, "thank you." It was so cute to hear them shout, "I GOT A LOLLIPOP!" as they'd walk away from some houses. Timmy had a blast being dressed up like Batman- look out Gotham City! Lira was a beautiful angel and loved wearing the costume and make-up. We also lucked out with the weather- it was in the high 60's I'd have to guess.

The kids got SO much candy. After we came home, we had them dump it all out on the table. We have pictures of them going through it- they look SO tired and wiped but also pleasantly overwhelmed by what they had accumulated. This morning Lira had a pretty sour belly. We're thinking it *might* have had something to do with the candy she ate last night- even though she didn't actually eat THAT much, it was more than she's probably ever had in any given day.

(I tried uploading pictures, but there was a problem. I'll be checking back within the next day or so to try it again- you've gotta see the kids in their costumes!)