Pictures!

Here are some pictures from this weekend- we celebrated our 6 months home as a family!

6 Month Anniversary!

Today was our 6 month anniversary of being home as a family. I know a lot of adoptive families celebrate their "gotcha day" as the day they officially became parents and children of one another via a court ruling. But our court date was somewhat anti-climatic; since it had been cancelled three times and we couldn't even take the kids out of the orphanage for another 10 days afterwards, it just didn't feel official. So instead of counting from April 13th, our court date, I've been counting from April 30th: the day we landed on American soil and walked into our front door as a family! To celebrate our anniversary, we went to breakfast, and though it wasn't a fancy place, it's one that they kids do well at. My parents were visiting for the weekend so they joined us, which made it extra special.

The past 6 months have really rocked our world. Life has been turned upside-down since becoming parents, but that's not a bad thing! We're finally getting used to being "parents" which was a pretty foreign concept in the beginning. I think Ken and I are doing the best we can, but make some parental mistakes here and there. (This is true for all new parents, right? Right? Hello?!) Lira and Timmy have been adjusting very, very well. The "bonding process" continues and I think it's coming along at a very nice pace, but there's still room for growth. We're not having attachment "problems", which is great. Lira is still closer to me than she is with Ken; it seems like she takes two steps forward, then one step back with her and her daddy. When Ken has opportunities to spend time with the kids without me there, Lira is much more affectionate towards him. But lately between his work schedule, projects within our community, his softball team, projects in the house, and volunteering, his time with the kids has been limited.

Lira and Timmy love their extended family, and this is truly reciprocated. I try to arrange visits with my parents and sister and her family about once a month. (They live about 3 hours away. I wish we could see them even more frequently!) They also talk on the phone quite a bit. Lira and Timmy are very close with my sister's daughters. Lira and Tim have met Ken's mom (their grandmother) and have spoken on the phone with a few other members of Ken's family. They live in different places on the west coast, so opportunities to visit are limited, as you can imagine. We're preparing Lira and Tim for a trip to California over Thanksgiving to meet most of the west-coast family. I'm excited and nervous about that all at the same time!

This past weekend we participated in their school's "International Night" by having a table where we displayed pictures of Ukraine and a bunch of traditional Ukrainian items we brought back from our trip. (I'll post pictures soon!) We also served Ukrainian peirogies which were a big hit. Lira and Tim had a fun time with some of their classmates as well as having a chance to taste lots of foods from other countries, too. Just a few more days until Halloween- Lira and Timmy can't wait!! I'll be sure to post pictures soon!

"Thank You"

I know I just posted earlier today, but I had to add this charming post about a "thank you."

This morning Lira was putting on her new sneakers that we bought last night. As she was putting on her shoes, out of the blue she said, "Thank you, mommy, for my new shoes!" After a pause she said with a sad face, "I never had new shoes when I lived in the internat (orphanage); we always had to wear old, ugly shoes that always don't fit us!"

I can't tell you how much that sweet "thank you" filled my heart with joy and sadness at the same time.

Smile for the Camera

Yesterday was 'picture day' at school for the kids and they looked so adorable when they left the house in the morning. I had told them over the past week that I wanted them to look nice for the pictures. (This was more for Lira's ears than Timmy's; she can be a bit stubborn about not wearing her hair too neat in the morning or about what she wants to wear for school.) So the night before last we decided to pick out the clothes. Lira wanted to wear a pretty black dress and pink & black jacket. It was an ADORABLE outfit even though it was a bit dressier than I had in mind. But she looked great and therefore, I decided I wouldn't let this become a battle. In the meantime, I was also preparing her for the fact that I was going to "do" her hair for photo day! Timmy saw what Lira picked out and said he wanted to wear something new and different for pictures, nothing he usually wears for school. THANK GOD FOR HAND-ME-DOWNS!!! Friends of the family had given us a few nice white button-down shirts and a nice button-up vest. Luckily he had matching black pants- he looked SO CUTE! And he loved the outfit! I made him promise he wouldn't dirty it or rip it until AFTER pictures. :)

Timmy's still working on keeping his hands "to himself" at school. With that being said, his teachers recently said they've seen a lot of improvement since Timmy started school. They are really looking out for him and taking his history into consideration when it comes to consequences for his occasional hitting behaviors. Lira is doing well despite the lack of ESOL support. (This week the ESOL teacher came only once.) I still work with her at home doing a phonics-based reading program and she goes to an extra reading class in the afternoons called "reading recovery." Today I took Lira to the doctor for a follow-up visit since she's been on the INH medication for a month now. (This is medicine for the positive TB test.) Lira is doing fine as far as that's going and doesn't have any problems taking the medicine! I had one other concern, but since the doctor says it's not anything to worry about, I won't even get into the details here. The kids are really looking forward to halloween next week- it'll be a blast for all of us! We can't wait to take them Trick-or-Treating!

Yes, Sometimes, No, Yes, No, Yes

And that title pretty much describes the answers we've been getting as to whether Lira will be getting ESOL services. I was going to post a blog on Saturday after I was told in confidence that the ESOL teacher said he had no time to schedule for Lira. The more I thought about it, the more frustrated I became. He finally responded on my 3rd email yesterday; 4 days after I sent it. Now he IS able to see Lira twice per week. I was expecting this, but his email annoyed me a little bit. Before I tell you why, I'll copy and paste it here so you can read it:

"...with regard to Liras language development and progression from late spring/early summer to now, it is not expected that she would have made significant gains during a time of minimal academic activity and support. I have scheduled her for two days a week (Monday and Tuesday) of individual support inclusive of reading, writing, and oral language development. Since she is the only ESOL student in that class and lower emergent literacy levels are common at the first grade level, she will not be receiving individual support every day. We have 155 ESOL students and three ESOL teachers at our school. What I can promise you is that her support will be meaningful and focused on the days that I meet with her. Lira is actively engaged in her learning and pleasure to work with. I look forward to working with her. If you have any further questions feel free to contact me."

So, how would you reply to this? The first part that annoyed me was his assumption that she had little academic activity and support. She went to ESOL summer school AND I home schooled her!! She made tremendous gains between the two test dates and he didn't answer my question as to why he thought these gains were not evidenced in the testing!! I was also annoyed when he said how many ESOL students there were and how many teachers, as well as Lira's placement in her classroom. So does this mean that if she were placed in the classroom across the hall where there are many more children requiring ESOL support, she would be getting it more frequently? Is it my fault that there are only 3 teachers providing services in the school? My take on this: My daughter qualifies for services. Therefore, they MUST be provided. End of discussion.

Sigh.

Other than that, nothing too exciting to write about. Timmy's loving his karate lessons and Lira's loving her gymnastics classes. I'm exhausted right now, but when I get some more energy to write more, I'll have to tell you about the need for teaching the kids the story abou the boy who cried wolf!

Keep Your Hands to Yourself!

This was the big lesson for Timmy this week. If you remember from an earlier post, Timmy's teacher had told us at Back to School Night that she was working with Timmy on keeping his hands to himself. Well this week we got a note home from her. Timmy didn't earn his smiley face that day and the note said, "Timmy had a hard time keeping his hands to himself." She went on to describe how he hit someone in the lunch room after he and others laughed at him for dropping his sandwich. She also told me how she handled the situation though my first reaction was to offer a consequence at home for Timmy's behavior. I had a long talk with Timmy about not hitting others and I tried teaching him some things to say to others instead of hitting. I told Ken about the incident, he read the note, and he talked to Timmy, too. I asked for some advice from my FRUA support network and they all agreed to let the consequences take place in school. Talking to him and teaching him strategies is one thing, but there's no need for any other real consequences from us; we need to be a safe place for him. The more I thought about the situation, I wondered if the kid actually deserved a reaction other a simple, "don't laugh at me"?!? (No, I'm not condoning violence, so don't read too much into that one!) And I wouldn't tell Timmy that a small part of me agreed with him because he is too young and immature to hear that understand my reasoning behind it. So, the "no hitting" rule and the "keep your hands to yourself rule" still apply.

Lira didn't have a very eventful week (that I'm aware of!) We did get a progress report sent home and she is doing well in more areas than I expected given her language situation! It does say that she needs improvement in reading and writing- no surprise there. I've learned that the ESOL teacher has yet to work with Lira since the first visit. Needless to say, I'm not very happy about that, so I've emailed the ESOL teacher about this three times as of yesterday. No response from him- STILL. Now it's time for me to take the next step. (I just have to figure out what the next step is!!) I continue to work with Lira almost each night on spelling, sounds, and reading. She's quite a trooper!

A couple new pictures

This is a cute picture of Timmy with his new stuffed animal that was given to him as a gift last week. Lira received a big stuffed puppy that is equally as cute! Timmy loves his bear and has slept with it every night since he got it. Here he is in his pajamas with his bear before heading up for bed.

Below is Lira, minus her two front teeth!! She is getting a drink before heading up to bed, too.

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth...!

So many great little things have happened since the last time I've had a chance to update this blog. I'm not sure where to start! Let's see... this might be a long one! I'll start with school.

Back to School night was at the end of September and we had a chance to talk briefly with both Lira and Timmy's teachers. It just so happened that Timmy didn't earn his smiley face for good behavior that day because he apparently hit someone. What timing- the same day that we'd meet with his teacher! His teacher had nice things to say about him and when we asked about the hitting incident, she didn't seem to concerned. Apparently it was a typical kindergarten argument with grabbing involved and then the hit- she doesn't know who hit first. No one was hurt, though, so it must not have been that bad! ;) I asked her about Timmy's behavior overall. She said that in the beginning of the year, Timmy was kissing everyone in his class! Then he moved on to getting very close to other people and trying to play or get their attention which would ultimately lead to touching them. She is working on "keep your hands to yourself" with Tim. Otherwise, he's just fine and his behaviors really aren't any different from that of the other kids. He is a bit immature for his age (shocker!) but the teacher said that this class as a whole is a bit "younger." Other than that, Timmy loves to participate in class and always wants to try whatever they are working on- he never backs down to a challenge. Their words, "He's so enthusiastic!" Woohoo! His coloring and letter/ sound knowledge has improved dramatically. (Is it school or just the fact he got glasses?) We have all noticed Timmy's language coming along nicely, though I want to persue (or is it pursue?) the possibility of getting him in Speech Therapy. (Since that night, I've followed up with the speech therapist at the school... details later!)

Lira's teacher had wonderful things to say about her. She's very motherly towards students who are having a hard time with tasks. (Which we've been told before and have observed!) Her language continues to come along beautifully. However, this doesn't mean she doesn't have a long road ahead of her to catch up to where other 6 year olds are. As of that night, she still hadn't received ESOL services that I had been told she would receive. The day prior to Back to School Night I had sent an email to all of the ESOL staff on the website (since I didn't know who to direct the email to) and received a response the next day. Lira's teacher said she really appreciated whatever I said in the email because that very next day the ESOL teacher was in to schedule Lira twice per week. Lira is also enthusiastic about school. I work with her at home on reading, letters, sounds, numbers, etc., and even after a full day of school she still likes to spend time with me doing these things.

Outside of school, we enrolled Timmy in Karate and Lira in Gymnastics. They both love it and I think it's a great outlet for them, as well as confidence boosters.

And I saved the big news (hence the title) for last: Lira's two front teeth came out!! Two in two days. The tooth fairy visited her and Lira insists she saw her, her wand and wings, and said she was beautiful. (Thanks, hahahaha!) :)

I'm sure I'm forgetting something, so once I remember I will post it. I'll try to get a picture of Lira with her new "toothless" smile!

Ukrainian Festival in MD

Sunday we went to a Ukrainian Festival in Silver Spring, MD along with friends of ours who also adopted from Ukraine. We had a great time and Lira and Timmy really enjoyed having authentic Ukrainian food. Even though Ken and I complained about our food choices while we were in Ukraine, I/ we did have a few favorites that we were also able to have at the festival yesterday. Lately Lira has been telling us that she forgets how to speak Russian and she doesn't like it if I say a word in Russian or Ukrainian and she doesn't like it when I say her name with the "r" rolled like in Cyrillic. Because of that, I didn't know how she would react at the festival, but she really liked it. She said she wanted a "costume" like the Ukrainian dancers on stage.

New Glasses

Timmy's glasses arrived this week and he's been trying to get used to wearing them. They are such a strong prescription; I can only imagine what his world has been like with such bad vision up until now. Although he complains a little bit about wearing them, (knock on wood) he isn't giving me much trouble about it. He's only taken them off and forgotten where they were one time. Lira luckily helped him find them. She's very jealous that she doesn't get to wear glasses, which I think is motivating Timmy to keep them on. You know how it goes: one sibling only wants something when the other has it, or the one sibling only keeps something he doesn't like to prevent the other one from getting it! :) As for school, they are both doing well- no real news on that front.

Some more "Firsts"

Well the first week of school seemed to be a nice success for Lira and Timmy. They adjusted very well and I didn't get any calls from teachers! LOL No news is good news, yes? no? They both say they like school when they get off the bus and I ask them how their day went. I already hear both of them using a few new english words and they talk about new friends. Timmy takes a nap each day in school and I'm JEALOUS that he won't take a nap for me at home any more! :) But that's okay, I'm not complaining. Since school began this week, Timmy's behavior at home has REALLY improved. No temper tantrums and he listens a bit better. He tells me each day and night that he misses me and is very cuddly. I have to admit that since I've returned to work, I've been in a better mood, too. When the kids get home, I realize how much I've missed them and my patience has definitely been recharged. The kids fall asleep so fast at night, too. Friday night the kids asked if they could go to sleep in the same bed. They usually giggle and talk and play with a toy, but not this time! They were out like a light within minutes thanks to a full week of school!

Yesterday we had a lot of fun with the kids. I had purchased baseball tickets for Ken's birthday back in April. (Side story: I bought these tickets for Ken before we left for Ukraine since his birthday would fall during our adoption trip. I bought 3 tickets thinking we were going to adopt 1 boy. Ooops! So we had to make other arrangements for the baseball game!) We decided Ken would take Timmy to his 1st baseball game and take our friend Nick- they'd have a fun boy's day out. They really enjoyed it and Timmy was very well behaved, just taking "it all" in. Lira and I invited our friend Melanie to have a girl's day. Melanie suggested going to Claytime Cafe (a paint- your-own pottery place) and we had a GREAT time! We actually spent 4 hours painting pottery and Lira was such a good girl. Even when Mel and I were still painting, Lira helped the women who worked there and they were so great with her. The one woman took her around the store and showed Lira where the paint goes, how to clean the tiles, and how they "fire" the pieces people have painted. Lira loved it and said she wanted to work there all night; she said Ms. Mel and I could go home and pick her up in the morning when she was done working. Too funny!

Lira and Timmy's 1st day of school!

Lira and Timmy were excited about their first day of school. Lira woke up early and got dressed and brushed her teeth before I even knew she was up! She woke Timmy up for me but he didn't approach the day with the same happiness and excitement as Lira. He was Captain Cranky Pants. (He's not a morning person!) Once he was dressed and ready to go, both of them were getting antsy to go to the bus stop. They both loved having lunch boxes and snacks. We were at the bus stop early and unfortunately, it was raining. Lira repeated over and over, "Mommy, where's the bus!?!" Timmy was pleasantly distracted by the puddles. Once the bus came, they ran over with excitement. I took some pictures and they were off! I did get a little bit teary-eyed, I admit. I thought of them all day while I was at work.

The end of the school day: The kids got off the school bus and had big smiles on their faces. They gave me hugs and when I asked them if they had a good day, they both said YES! They both said they liked going to school. (Later when the neighbors asked them, they said they didn't like it, which I thought was funny!) They were so excited to show me their Tuesday Folders. Timmy told me a story that the teacher read to him in class and talked about his day. Lira told me about a couple of her classmates and some things they did in school. I gave them big hugs and told them I missed them so much and love them, too. Lira's reply (which she's said before, I love it!) was, "Mommy, I love you very hard!"

All in all, a great day for them!

WELCOME TO OUR NEW BLOG!

The website we had maintained through our adoption journey (www.adoptionjourney.bravehost.com) was becoming a burden to maintain. Since I have a Mac computer, its templates and web coding became difficult to manage. Since so much information has been stored there, I will keep that site active and will update it with adoption related news. I know many people have bookmarked that page because of the resources I've collected and posted.

SO, I decided to continue with a different blog, with a new name: Journey from Poltava. No longer is our blog so much about "the" adoption as it is about our life as a family: a family that came together through adoption.

Enjoy our journal as we encounter new experiences with our children. Thanks for supporting us on our journey!