Sunday, February 25, 2007
To Search or Not To Search...
Right now Ken and I are debating whether or not to do a birth-parent search in Ukraine. There are so many questions we would like answered. If we move forward with this, we will keep the information private; we also don't plan to share the information with Lira and Timmy until they are much older. Since Lira and Timmy were placed in the orphanage as toddlers, they already have some recollection of their birth family; at least, Lira does. But she is forgetting so much of it. So... to those of you who read my blog who are adoptive families, I'd love some input... have you performed a birth family search? What's your experience? What questions do you ask the searcher to get answers to?
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2 comments:
I debated doing a search too, but went ahead with it just because my daughter lived with her birthmother until age 5 and remembered things and made up other things. I wanted to know what was true and what was fiction about her birth family, so that when she said her brothers, I could tell her no you mean your uncles. I hadn't planned on sharing with her, but she saw it on my computer and her sister read the report to her. She was pretty matter of fact. The searcher did not meet her birth parents but met her paternal aunt who was very happy to hear about her. She told the searcher that she was very happy to be able to tell her parents (my daughter's paternal grandparents) that she was well and to share the pictures I sent. She even gave us some pictures of her birth relatives. I would do it again. I wish I could search for my first daughter's family, she was left at the maternity hospital, and there aren't as many searchers for the country she if from.
Good luck.
We have been talking about it for a while and will probably do it pretty soon, particularly for Daniel and Maggie.
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