Bad Words

Written by Ken...

Bad Words

The other day I was cooking dinner (a miracle!). After cutting my thumb with a sharp knife Iyelled a loud expletive that rhymes with truck. I felt bad that Lira might have heard me so I asked her after dinner if she did and she said ‘no’.

Being curious, I asked Lira if she actually knew any bad words. Lira got really shy but said, "yes" and I said ‘ it’s ok, you’re not in trouble, I just want to know what you’ve learned at school.’

Lira said ‘I didn’t get them from school daddy, I learned them from you.’

So, blushing, I asked Lira what she knew. She said, "crap, darmid" (Lira’s way to say ‘darnit”) and then she paused and thought for a minute and said, “Well the third word I got from mommy ...because I've heard her calling you a jerk.”

Kids!

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was spent in PA at my parent's house with 16 of us having dinner. L&T love being with their nana and poppy and they played with their cousins who are about the same age. The day was filled with its fair share of tattling and typical kid stuff, and that's just me and my sister! LOL! Just kidding. The kids were a bit wound up b/c they're out of their element. While we were up there, our mini-van broke down but luckily it was covered under the warranty and thanks to Ken and my dad, it was taken care of in time for us to get home and pick Dori from the kennel. We brought Ferris with us and that went a lot more smoothly than any of us thought it would.

Now that we're back, I had the kids write out their wish lists for Santa. OH MY GOD. L's list: a laptop, a cell phone, a flat-screen TV (though I don't think she even knows what it is), a car, two magic wands, and some barbie dolls. T's response to her was pretty funny: "You forgot to be kidding me!" (instead of you've got to be kidding me.) When the kids go to see Santa this year, I sure hope he is well-versed in nice ways of saying "NO" to these kinds of lists. I asked her what happened to the Bratz dolls she wanted and she just said, "um, no."

T made his wish list, too and copied some toys down from circulars- and he doesn't even know what some of these toys are (and neither do I.) For the most part his list is quite a bit more reasonable!!!

Trick or Treat! And who might YOU be...?!

Halloween was a huge success if you ask L & T. They got tons of candy and had so much fun trick or treating. And we wouldn't be 'us' if we didn't have some funny L & T'isms from the night. Here are a few:
L & T: Trick or Treat!
Woman: How cute! And who might YOU be?
T: (Instead of saying, "a storm trooper" he says): My name is T!

L & T: Trick or Treat!
Woman: You guys can each have 3! (as she holds a big bowl of candy.)
Mommy and Daddy: Wow, guys, what do you say?
L & T: Oh yeah! (we were hopping for a "thank you")

And after they came from a different house with some candy, Lira shouts at the man, "Thank you!" and then walks 10 feet and says less than quietly, "Their house is a mess!"

(And to those who have emailed recently with interest in Ferris, thank you! He's adjusting great and the kids are loving it!)

The latest addition to our family

And heeeeeerrrrrre'ssss FERRIS! Yep, us crazy people got a pup from a rescue this weekend. He's gotta be the coolest pup in the world. (I'm biased, I know.) The kids love him, Ken loves him , I love him, and Dori loves, no, maybe just likes him. Here's a pic for now... I'll try to write more again soon.

Electrongic Database for Orphans in Ukraine

I just read about this on an Adoptions from Ukraine List. This is a HUGE step in the right direction. Welcome to the 21st century, Ukraine!
>>>
Electronic Database for Orphans Launched 08.10.2007 20:03
translated by Anna Ivanchenko

In Lviv region a unified electronic database on orphans, children deprived of parental care and children from crisis families was created. The all-Ukrainian database should facilitate the adoption procedure, reports Deutsche Welle. Almost five thousand children have already been entered in the electronic register; they are residents of Lviv and Lviv region. Half of them require care and adoption. The database consists of pictures with full information on children, says the head of regional children's issues service Volodymyr Lys. According to him, it will greatly facilitate and accelerate the adoption procedure which may last up to one year. It is really paramount, we'll count the children and remove double registrations," assures Mr. Lys. The access to informational bank is strictly limited and controlled by Security Service of Ukraine. Mr. Lys says that there also exists a database of Ukrainian families in line for adopting a child. There are about 50 such families in Lviv region.

Source: Ukrayinska Pravda

Bacon

L has been slow to bond with Ken, as most of you already know. She's definitely come a long way, but she does show "favorites" and likes to egg-Ken-on with the "I love MOMMY!" routine. (This is where she goes overboard with showing me love and affection and outright ignores Ken.)

Well the comment I made at the end of the last post refered to one evening at dinner... Lira was doing her overt acting out of loving mommy SOOOOOooooo much- where no matter what Ken said, Mommy can do NO wrong. So Ken said to the kids, "What about Daddy? I'm the one who brings home the bacon!?" To which the kids replied, "Who cares!? We don't even like bacon."

And while there are SO many things I could say in response to the comments made by ALL 3 of them, I'll leave it at that.

Back to School

Summer is over and we're in the swing of our new routine. T is liking school so far but L is finding the lack of "fun" not so...well, fun! She's a grade older so the expectations have increased and L wants to keep being a social butterfly! But from what I can tell, she's doing really well. Her reading continues to grow and she amazes me. Ken is T's soccer coach, which is great. I'm the "team mom" for L's soccer team.

I've been sick for the past few days with strep and it's been the pits! L has been very caring and has done a number of chores above and beyond just because I'm sick. T has been good, don't get me wrong! I had a cute story to write about tonight, but of course, thanks to all this medicine and sleepiness, I'm a zombie right now.

And reason #1343 that I'm NOT going to be mother-of-the-year? I let the kids watch Harry Potter (the 1st one.) I don't remember it being scary and T's been really interested in it lately. Well, bad move, we only watched about an hour of it and T can't stop thinking about the "bad wizard". I'm not going to have him finish the movie but I think the next few weeks before bed are going to be damage control; convincing T that the "bad wizard" doesn't exist so there's no need to worry that he's going to come to our door.

And if I don't post again soon, email me or comment to remind me to post about the "bringing home the bacon" comment. It was so funny- but heck if I can remember it right now! I have to ask Ken...

Don't worry mom, you're not old!

"Don't worry, mom! You're not old! You're... new!" This was T's comment when we were talking about age since I'll be turning another year older next week. Another classic was today while we were in the cell phone store. T & L were asking the salesman why he was the only one there and where was his boss? I jokingly said, '...probably out playing golf!' to which the guy laughed and said I was right. T pondered this and said, "Wait a minute... you have to stay here and work and your BOSS is out playing GOLF? THAT'S NOT FAIR!" We all got a good chuckle at his comment and how serious he was when he said it.

Well, there's not much exciting to tell you all about. It's the lazy days of summer now. We go swimming a lot and each day I try to find new things to do with the kids and I'm running out of ideas. L watches High School Musical on TiVO and has been counting down until tonight for High School Musical 2. (Sad to say that even I can sing with the song, "Wildcats, in the house..." and, "...the start of something n-ew!" (First the mini-van, now this..!)

Watch out, Luke Skywalker, L is in love with TROY!

PS- We're still looking for a new home for our cats... anyone interested?

Summer HW, my boyfriend, and my big butt

L & T are doing great and we've had a busy summer so far. I try to do homework with them every day; at first it was difficult to get the kids to do, especially T. BUT... he suddenly became a collector of trading cards! So, I now reward them with a trading card for each night they do a little bit of math and reading. It has worked A LOT better than I even expected. They come to me asking to PLEASE DO HOMEWORK NOW, MOMMY! Wow. How long will this last? Nevermind, I'm not going to question it- I love it! The rest of our summer is pretty much spent at the swimming pool which again, I'm not going to complain about. Ken has quite a bit of traveling to do for work this summer but I've noticed that by taking the kids to the pool for a few hours every day, they're exhausted by dinner time so it's not so bad!

L is in love with Luke Skywalker since watching the Star Wars movies and T keeps trying to shoot electricity out of his fingertips like the Emperor. Oh... and I have a boyfriend. :) L said that since her boyfriend is Luke Skywalker, I need to have a boyfriend, too. (Daddy doesn't count, she said!) So while it was a toss-up between Han Solo and Captain Jack Sparrow, I went with the pirate.

Oh, and my DEAR SWEET SON has quite the sense of humor. Ken and I were talking with our friends Mel and Nick about programming cell phones with ring tones for different people who call. Ken said, "Hmmm... I wonder what song I should program for when Jeanine calls!?" and Timmy, without missing a beat says, "Mommy's Got a Big Ol' Butt!"

Sigh.

Finding a new home for our cats...

Well despite EVERYTHING we've tried over the past year, we have come to the conclusion that we need to find a new home for our two cats. They have not adjusted well to Lira and Timmy. Besides hiding when the kids are home, they urinate on the kids' toys. (Great selling point for finding a new home for them, wouldn't you say!?) It's a heartbreaking decision for me since I've had the cats longer than I've known Ken! I think they would be so much happier in a home where they wouldn't be chased by the kids or locked in a room they don't want to be in. (L&T have shut the cats in the same room that they were in and then chased the cats around the room trying to pick them up. The cats were SO scared!) So... if you or someone you know could provide a good home for Apache and Tobey, please let me know. I don't want to separate the cats as they've been together since they were kittens. They'd do best in a home with no other pets and no children but would probably be just fine in a home that has OLDER children. I will try to post pictures of them in case anyone is interested in seeing them. In the meantime, if you are interested, post a comment with your email address and I'll email you more info and some pictures. :(

Just another day

I'm home from work today; I've been home since Monday afternoon. Timmy's been sick with a fever, etc., and after his doctor's visit yesterday he started antibiotics for tonsilitis. He is definitely feeling better this afternoon compared to 48 hours ago! Lira's jealous that Timmy's been getting extra attention and so she's been doing what she can to get her fair share! It makes for a crazy few days!

The school year is coming to an end. It's so hard to believe that the kids have grown as much as they have! I finally came to terms with my two loving children being 5 and 6 years old, then they had to go and turn 6 and 7! Now they are finishing up school and as of September, we'll have a 1st and 2nd grader!?!?! Say it ain't so! But we are very proud of them and are amazed at how far they have come. Lira tested out of the reading recovery program and is on grade level in reading. Timmy's phonics has come a looooong way. Timmy will receive ESOL services next year and I'm just waiting to hear from the school about Lira. She should definitely get services, but I don't know if I'll have to "push" for them or not. We'll see how that goes.

Before and After

April 30th marked our 1 year anniversary of being home in AMERICA as a family! We celebrated by going out to dinner and enjoyed great stories about our visits with the kids in the orphanage. The kids loved hearing stories about the silly things that they would do during the visits and we enjoyed hearing their perspective of the entire situation one year ago. I'm sending this out to our loved ones who supported us during our journey to, in, and home from Ukraine. What a road it has been. Over the past year, we've celebrated LOTS of "firsts" with the children. Now we look forward to making and celebrating our own traditions. Thank you for your support and love. We couldn't have done it without our family and friends. Again, it's amazing how far we've all come. The kids have changed our world and we're all the better for it! Here you are able to see some amazing BEFORE and AFTER pictures of the kids.

A Year Ago, Part 5

1 year ago we were able to take the children out of the orphanage; the ten day wait was over. It was Easter Day in Ukraine- what a symbolic day- new beginnings and rebirth. L and T didn't look back when it was time to leave. They said a quick goodbye and that was it! They were ready to go! We dressed them in the new clothes we bought for them and we gave the orphanage a nice supply of fruits and juice for all the children we left behind. We took them to a park that was by Irena's apartment. (Irena was the lady from the orphanage who helped us and was considered our "translator" though her english wasn't very good!) Ken and I remember being excited about it- to finally be able to get the children OUT of the orphanage; it was day we waited SOOOoooo long for. But then we got anxious... now what do we do????

Lira's bottom two teeth were loose when we took them from the orphanage. She yanked them out herself a few days later! One year ago...today... Lira was in the dentist's office getting a tooth extracted that had developed an absess (sp?) and was causing her pain. She fell asleep after they gave her the "laughing gas" and she pulled through like a champ! I was so much more nervous than she was!

A Year Ago, Part 4

Rewind 1 year. April 12, 2006, we're in Poltava, Ukraine. Our court appointment, which was scheduled for April 11th had been cancelled after waiting outside the courtroom for about 45 minutes. Now it's April 12th and we're ready to go to court again. Our facilitator shows up with the woman from the orphanage. He says he has bad news; there will be no court today. We questioned him, with our hearts sinking with each passing moment. He says that he has no money left to continue with our adoption. (Mind you, this is just a few days after $20,000 was demanded from us by our agency: money we weren't told we'd owe while in Ukraine. But I digress...) How could he not have any money!? This was ridiculous! So the heated discussion started. Ken and I were now yelling and our facilitator still refused to take us to court. Without him knowing, I turned my video camera on so I could record the conversation, even though it was just the audio. At some point, I was crying, Ken was yelling, I was yelling, I was calm, I was pacing, Ken had steam coming out of his ears. Lira and Timmy were OUR children and we weren't going to accept our facilitator's B.S. I made him repeat his explanation of needing money, what it was for, and how he didn't receive any of the money that was wired to our agency in the states because I wanted it recorded. I then went into our bedroom, took out all of the cash that we had on us at that point which was well over $5000. I came back in the room and yelled at him, "What is that you want? Money!? Then here's your (bleeping) money!" and I threw the cash on the table in front of him. I can't imagine what the lady from the orphanage was thinking at this point in time. I didn't care how much money our facilitator wanted to extort, these children were ours and I wasn't leaving the country without them. He didn't take the money. I can't recall the words that were then exchanged between Ken and the facilitator but I went into our bedroom and called the "President" of our agency. I was quite upset, told her what was in the process of going on and she called me a liar. I told her to listen to the background noise, she'd hear the facilitator's voice. I started yelling at her for not sending him the money- she wanted me to put him on our phone. I was fed up so I yelled at her to call the facilitator on her "own dime" and do her (bleep) job. I hung up on her. The facilitator took the lady from the orphanage and left. They left us in our room. Alone. Stranded. No answers. No court date. I was hysterical. I called my family, hysterical. Within moments both of my parents and my aunt (who helped us come up with the cash the week before) were on the phone repeatedly calling the agency. Ken and I were devastated. Lost. Scared. More phone calls went back and forth and within an hour or so (I don't recall how much time passed) our facilitator knocked on our door and apologized. He said he would reschedule the court date for tomorrow morning.

April 13, 2006- The woman from the orphanage who was supposed to come to court with us had left for Kiev. We needed someone from the orphanage at the hearing. Our facilitator, after stressfully scrambling, found a man to take to court with us. Ken and I jokingly called him "the janitor" because that's what he looked like. We made it to court, had the hearing, and officially became parents. It was Ken's birthday- what a day to become an official father! We didn't really celebrate or get to excited when we first heard the ruling from the judge- at least for me, I almost didn't believe it- I was waiting for something else to go wrong.

Now, April 13, 2007- Lira and Timmy are gorgeous, happy, healthy, adjusted, loving, smart, speaking 100% english. We're a family. Playing soccer and driving a mini-van. Ken had a nice birthday with adorable gifts from his children for the 1st time.

Oh, and as for the money that we paid the agency last year that our facilitator said he hadn't received- supposedly our agency had mistakenly wired it to Latvia.

Want to see before/after pics of the kids? Take a look at the previous post, "A Year Ago, Part 3"

A Year Ago, Part 3

(March 30th) A year ago we met Lira and Timmy for the first time. I'll never forget when they walked into the Director's office, holding hands. They came in and shyly said, "Dobre Dien" which is like Good Morning/Good Day. Ken and I fell in love and I wanted to start crying. We (obviously) accepted the referral and paperwork started very quickly. Here are a few pictures. One picture is of Ken and I with Oksana from the NAC- she gave us the referral for L and T. There are also pictures of L and T from 1 year ago and a picture taken this weekend at our hotel in Niagara Falls. The changes, especially with Lira, are AMAZING.

A Year Ago Today, Part 2

A year ago today was our first day in Kiev. We left Dulles Airport on March 26th and flew through Frankfurt, Germany. Ken says he doesn't really remember that flight at all. If it wasn't for the pictures I took, I'd probably forget a lot about it, too. I remember that my thoughts were consumed with becoming parents and I was determined to make it a successful trip to Ukraine. Our 1st day in Kiev was spent site-seeing at Independence Square and Myhailivskyj Cathedral, which is in this set of pictures. The 28th was our appointment date at the NAC. We didn't get much sleep the night before the appointment. Talk about anxiety! I had been getting stress-related heartburn constantly for weeks up until we left for Ukraine so I had a HUGE Costco-sized supply of heartburn medicine for the trip.

Photos are of memories from a year ago yesterday and today. There are two from the cathedral, one of the flight info during our layover in Germany, one of the address of our apartment in Kiev that we rented, and one of Ken and I on the tram in Kiev.

1 Year Ago, Part 1

It was a year ago on March 25th that Ken and I left for Ukraine. The days before the flight are such a blur right now; it seems like life before Lira and Timmy was a decade ago, when it's only been 11 months. I've been spending time reflecting on the past year, especially when we first met the kids and our visits with them. I get teary-eyed from time to time so the next month is going to bring a lot of tearful reminiscing as the anniversary of major events of the adoption go by. (But as Lira and I like to say, they are "happy tears!"

Here are some pics taken about 1 year ago. There's a couple of our bed covered with things to bring with us to Ukraine. And other pictures are from exactly 1 year ago; my last day at work for that academic year. I became very close with my co-teachers, students and their parents and they all threw me a party/ shower. It was SOOOO sweet.

To Search or Not To Search...

Right now Ken and I are debating whether or not to do a birth-parent search in Ukraine. There are so many questions we would like answered. If we move forward with this, we will keep the information private; we also don't plan to share the information with Lira and Timmy until they are much older. Since Lira and Timmy were placed in the orphanage as toddlers, they already have some recollection of their birth family; at least, Lira does. But she is forgetting so much of it. So... to those of you who read my blog who are adoptive families, I'd love some input... have you performed a birth family search? What's your experience? What questions do you ask the searcher to get answers to?

Friends from Ukraine

While we were in Ukraine, we met a few other couples, but one in particular. Tammy and Billy had their appointment at the NAC the same day we did and we started talking to them while we were waiting for our appointment. After a bit of a wait, and lots of chatting, we discovered that we lived about 5 hours from each other. We traded home numbers and promised to keep in touch. After we had our appointments and received our referrals, Tammy and I gave each other tearful hugs and we decided to meet again that evening with a few other American families at the O'Briens pub in Kiev.

Tammy and Billy have two biological daughters and adopted Marina, then 7 years old. We chatted all about our experiences at the NAC that day as well as joys and anxieties we'd experience over the days to come. The next day, we all went our separate ways, not really expecting to meet again until we were in America. Don't you know it, we bumped into them again at the American Embassy in Ukraine, the day before we all left for America. Lira and Timmy met Marina and overwhelmed her with non-stop chatter! It was a sweet moment.

We have kept in touch via email and phone calls and Tammy decided that it's time we actually get together since we've talked about it for almost 9 months now. So, this weekend, they made the drive and spent the weekend here. They came with Marina and their middle daughter, Allison. The kids got along famously, especially Marina and Lira. They have so much in common with the experiences in their lives. Lira didn't want to leave Marina's side and when their visit was over, Lira cried as she went to sleep.

It was so nice for our families to see each other again and talk about our experiences in Ukraine. We plan to continue to keep in touch and next time our family is driving out to see them! Lira can't wait! (And neither can I!)

Timmy's Birthday... "I'm Rich!"

When I was putting Timmy to bed on the night of his birthday, he laid in his (new "big boy")bed, crossed his legs, and put his arms behind his head. With a huge smile he said, "Mom... I rich! I have a new big bed, I have lots of new toys, I'M RICH!" And there you have it. I had a good giggle out of that. I told him he was rich with love from his family and he said, "Yep, and I'll love you forever, mom!" After he said that, I felt rich. That's what keeps me going these days- the love from the kids no matter how frustrating a day it might have been.

Timmy's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese was great. Nana and Poppy drove down from PA for the party and Timmy had 8 of his friends, not to mention the adults that came (despite it being at Chuck E. Cheese!) It's a new Chuck E. restaurant that just opened within the past year, so it was much bigger than the other few I've been in, and a bit cleaner...Phew! Although I thought the party would be too overstimulating for Lira and Tim, they both did great. Tim just gets a bit quiet and tries to take it all in. Lira didn't seem to be affected by any of it. So, there you have it... yet another sign they're adjusting! While the waitress was lighting Timmy's bday cake, he said to me that he wished it was his birthday EVERY day! (Meanwhile I'm wishing my birthday only came every-other year so remaining at the age of 30 wouldn't be so much of a lie! LOL)

Lira's Birthday

Lira's Princess Tea Party was a huge success! There were a total of 12 kids, including Lira and Timmy. About 1/2 of them were dressed in Princess dresses, the rest were in nice dressy clothes. When everyone sang "Happy Birthday" to Lira, the look on her face was priceless and I couldn't help but get teary-eyed! Knowing this was the first birthday party she's ever had- it breaks my heart but at the same time makes me happy that we're able to provide one for her.

During the party there was an "etiquette" lesson by the woman we hired to do the tea party and believe it or not, the 11 girls (ages 4-7) were SO well behaved! They listened and were really into the whole thing! Timmy was the only boy and although he didn't want to join in at first, he did after a little coaxing and did really well! It didn't get crazy until Lira opened her gifts; then it was a mob-scene! I couldn't even tell you what she received from whom until after the girls left. Luckily, my girlfriend was standing behind Lira and wrote down a list for me! Now I'm planning Timmy's birthday party. We're doing it at Chuck E. Cheese and although the place is SO loud and a bit overstimulating, I've gotta say that I'm thankful that it won't be at the house! What a clean-up we had to do after Lira's party! LOL

Martin Luther King

Lira and Timmy are learning about American History, such as Martin Luther King.
Timmy's take on it: Marshin Loofer King was a very nice man! He even let us stay home from school!
Lira's take: One night ML had this dream, and when he woke up he wanted new friends at school.

In other news, we're planning Lira's birthday party. We are having a Princess Tea Party and invited several girls we've introduced Lira to (our friends' daughters) as well as all the girls in Lira's class. (They have an "all or nothing" policy.) Out of the 10 or so girls in her class that were invited, only 4 of their mothers RSVP'd! Is this how things are with childrens' parties? I am having a woman come to the house to "host" the tea party and she needed a head-count so she brings enough supplies, including cupcakes, etc. I gave her the number on Saturday, including one extra "just in case." I'm glad I did because one of the mothers called Sunday apologizing for not calling sooner. (We asked for people to RSVP by Wed. of this past week.) So what do I do if other mothers call this week?? I already gave a head count!

Timmy's birthday is right around the corner from Lira's. They are 12 months and 2 weeks apart in age. So, we're not even finished with Lira's and I'm trying to get Timmy's together. Timmy agreed to having his party at Chuck E. Cheese, which will be a load off my plate! This week is crazy-busy, so as soon as I get a chance to breathe, I'll have to run to the store to getting invitations.

Thanks for checking our blog!

Happy New Year!!

This New Year's Eve was very low-key. Our usual New Year's Eves in the past were spent with our friends, either having a party at our house or going to one close-by. We usually had our favorite drinks in our hands- be it wine or Ken's "Captain and Coke". But the past 3 New Years Evenings were childless on our part, and each one of those evenings I had prayed that it would be the year Ken and I became parents. My prayers were finally answered in 2006, and so I had no problem spending NYE this year sitting on the recliner, Ken sitting on the couch, both of us watching shows on TiVO and occasionally checking out Dick Clark on TV. (Ken probably didn't mind staying at home NYE because he needed to catch up on his Z's; He had his fill of fun by flying up to NY the day before and spending the night partying with friends. I stayed home and held down the fort!) We gave each other a kiss at midnight and by 12:15am, we were headed to bed and asleep minutes later. I had explained what New Year's Eve and Day were to Lira and Timmy but we didn't have them stay up past their usual bedtime. We needed to keep our homelife normal as the kids headed back to school today, Jan. 2nd. New Year's Day I had fixed a nice roast dinner and we talked about New Years Resolutions. Lira said she was going to "listen to her teachers more" and "love her family a lot" and Timmy said his resolution was to "listen to mommy and daddy more!" Of course, Timmy didn't keep to his resolution for very long, but it's ok- it was a cute moment nonetheless. Happy New Year!